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Help for my 12year old daughter
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 366499" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I would take her to a GOOD therapist that she can relate to. A bad match doesn't do any good. She has a lot on her mind. Don't minimize the divorce. I went through one too and it about killed my kids and helped my daughter on the road to drugs and destruction. Kids feel very vulnerable and insecure and even guilty (and VERY angry) during a divorce. They don't want it, no matter what the reason for it was. She sounds a lot like my sensitive daughter who ended up on drugs, so I can't urge you to get her into counseling fast enough...I would try a female over a male and one who is nurturing. My daughter started using drugs at 12, and I'd hate for your daughter to do what mine did to blunt her pain. </p><p></p><p>You can't m ake other kids hang with your daughter. What you can do is make her see that these "mean girl" wars kind of indicate that she may do better with new friends. "Mean girls" happen with all girl cliques. My youngest daughter, who is 14, just blows it off and tends to never be the center of the drama. My oldest one, the one who tookk drugs, was always the one who seemed to be on the "outs." She was a difficult child to raise because she is so sensitive, but she is a great young adult who has cleaned up her act, so take heart. I would try to show your daughter that they are perhaps not the best crowd to hang with. And get her a very good counselor whom she likes. She has a lot on her mind! </p><p></p><p>One last thing: Is she in a very small or private school? I ask because that was a very poor fit for both of my still-at-home kids. The private schools in my opinion tend to have an "exclusive" attitude especially about money. As for the small schools, my youngest daughter liked the smallness when she was younger, but asked us to put her in the bigger school last year. Her reason was: "When the girls start drama, in a small school you get sucked into it because ther's nobody else to hang around with. In a big school, you have more choices." She loves the bigger school. Both of my kids hated the Catholic School I send them to for three years. Not all schools fit all kids.</p><p></p><p>Welcome to the board!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 366499, member: 1550"] I would take her to a GOOD therapist that she can relate to. A bad match doesn't do any good. She has a lot on her mind. Don't minimize the divorce. I went through one too and it about killed my kids and helped my daughter on the road to drugs and destruction. Kids feel very vulnerable and insecure and even guilty (and VERY angry) during a divorce. They don't want it, no matter what the reason for it was. She sounds a lot like my sensitive daughter who ended up on drugs, so I can't urge you to get her into counseling fast enough...I would try a female over a male and one who is nurturing. My daughter started using drugs at 12, and I'd hate for your daughter to do what mine did to blunt her pain. You can't m ake other kids hang with your daughter. What you can do is make her see that these "mean girl" wars kind of indicate that she may do better with new friends. "Mean girls" happen with all girl cliques. My youngest daughter, who is 14, just blows it off and tends to never be the center of the drama. My oldest one, the one who tookk drugs, was always the one who seemed to be on the "outs." She was a difficult child to raise because she is so sensitive, but she is a great young adult who has cleaned up her act, so take heart. I would try to show your daughter that they are perhaps not the best crowd to hang with. And get her a very good counselor whom she likes. She has a lot on her mind! One last thing: Is she in a very small or private school? I ask because that was a very poor fit for both of my still-at-home kids. The private schools in my opinion tend to have an "exclusive" attitude especially about money. As for the small schools, my youngest daughter liked the smallness when she was younger, but asked us to put her in the bigger school last year. Her reason was: "When the girls start drama, in a small school you get sucked into it because ther's nobody else to hang around with. In a big school, you have more choices." She loves the bigger school. Both of my kids hated the Catholic School I send them to for three years. Not all schools fit all kids. Welcome to the board! [/QUOTE]
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