Alanon is great, but I found Naranon better for me. If you can't find a meeting in your area, you can order literature which I have found extremely helpful. http://www.nar-anon.org
My 31 yr old son is also a heroin addict. I'm not sure where he is? I do know that he knows I love him very much, but that I won't enable him and have the chaos in my home. If he decides he wants help he knows I'm there for him. I always have been. I "let go and let God" as best as I can. It's a constant struggle but does get easier with time and practice. If it gets bad enough for him and he wants to change his life, he knows what he needs to do. In the meantime, I stay out of his way.
Hugs,
Carri
