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I'd give him a call and I would straight out ask him to do this so that this goes from a potentially very negative experience to one from which difficult child could grow socially. Just make sure that coach knows to make it very clear that difficult child may very well still not make the team next year even with improvements in these areas because the coach has a duty to pick the strongest players for each position (you don't want difficult child disappointed all over again). The fact that coach has respect and appreciation of your work for the team may compel him to step out of his comfort zone, just make sure he knows he has the power to turn this into something positive for difficult child.