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Help, How do I keep him involved???
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<blockquote data-quote="wjaes" data-source="post: 14347" data-attributes="member: 1960"><p>This is the letter that I wrote the coach. What do you guys think?</p><p></p><p>Todd,</p><p></p><p>I appreciate you responding to my email and offering an explanation of why you opted to drop difficult child from the team. I haven't told him yet, as I know he will be very upset. He was talking about being excited for the Blue Dogs to start up again this past weekend. Mark *****, his basketball coach for the last 2 years has also let him go this year (mid-season). He was very sad about that too. Mark, however didn't give me any explanation at all, just opted to not call and I heard the team was back together (without difficult child) much as I heard about the Blue Dogs (after I hadn't heard from you for a period of time I emailed some other parents to see if they knew anything about the Blue Dogs and heard this past Monday that you have already had a couple of practices at the batting cages with the players). </p><p></p><p>I want to say thanks for allowing difficult child the opportunity to play competetive ball and to have the opportunity to be coached by you for the past 2 years. You are a fantastic coach and kids who have the opportunity to be coached by you are very lucky. As I have shared in the past, my greatest hope was to keep difficult child involved in positive activities, positive peers and around positive adult males so he would have the opportunity to learn and model good behavior. That was part of my concern with him ending up on such a controversial team (as you called it) last year. He needed that type of role modeling like he needed a big hole in his baseball glove or a bend in his baseball bat. </p><p></p><p>I imagine these (exclusion from competetive baseball and basketball) are the first of many exclusions he will experience throughout his years. It really breaks my heart for him. However, I know how easily it is to view his behavior as 100% willful and to see this as a attitude problem. </p><p></p><p>difficult child has been on medication since he was 5 years old for difficulties with his mood and I continue to work on positive behavioral support with him at home, with school and in the community. I guess I thought that both you and Mark ***** (basketball coach) realized I was doing all I could do address his behavior and I presumed that as long as I supported your decision to reprimand him for his attitude and/or behavior and he didn't do anything severe like yell at you or any of the coaches, the other kids or put his hands on anyone, you and the coaches were willing to work with him. They say that it takes a village to raise a child and I guess I saw you and the Blue Dogs as part of this village. </p><p></p><p>It would be very helpful so that this ends up being a learning experience for difficult child if you could talk to him about your decision to not ask him back. This would be good for difficult child so he gets it straight from you and recognizes the types of behavior that influenced your decision so he might learn from them.</p><p></p><p>Wendy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="wjaes, post: 14347, member: 1960"] This is the letter that I wrote the coach. What do you guys think? Todd, I appreciate you responding to my email and offering an explanation of why you opted to drop difficult child from the team. I haven't told him yet, as I know he will be very upset. He was talking about being excited for the Blue Dogs to start up again this past weekend. Mark *****, his basketball coach for the last 2 years has also let him go this year (mid-season). He was very sad about that too. Mark, however didn't give me any explanation at all, just opted to not call and I heard the team was back together (without difficult child) much as I heard about the Blue Dogs (after I hadn't heard from you for a period of time I emailed some other parents to see if they knew anything about the Blue Dogs and heard this past Monday that you have already had a couple of practices at the batting cages with the players). I want to say thanks for allowing difficult child the opportunity to play competetive ball and to have the opportunity to be coached by you for the past 2 years. You are a fantastic coach and kids who have the opportunity to be coached by you are very lucky. As I have shared in the past, my greatest hope was to keep difficult child involved in positive activities, positive peers and around positive adult males so he would have the opportunity to learn and model good behavior. That was part of my concern with him ending up on such a controversial team (as you called it) last year. He needed that type of role modeling like he needed a big hole in his baseball glove or a bend in his baseball bat. I imagine these (exclusion from competetive baseball and basketball) are the first of many exclusions he will experience throughout his years. It really breaks my heart for him. However, I know how easily it is to view his behavior as 100% willful and to see this as a attitude problem. difficult child has been on medication since he was 5 years old for difficulties with his mood and I continue to work on positive behavioral support with him at home, with school and in the community. I guess I thought that both you and Mark ***** (basketball coach) realized I was doing all I could do address his behavior and I presumed that as long as I supported your decision to reprimand him for his attitude and/or behavior and he didn't do anything severe like yell at you or any of the coaches, the other kids or put his hands on anyone, you and the coaches were willing to work with him. They say that it takes a village to raise a child and I guess I saw you and the Blue Dogs as part of this village. It would be very helpful so that this ends up being a learning experience for difficult child if you could talk to him about your decision to not ask him back. This would be good for difficult child so he gets it straight from you and recognizes the types of behavior that influenced your decision so he might learn from them. Wendy [/QUOTE]
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