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Help! Is this normal for a private Residential Treatment Center (RTC)?
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 746209" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>This is true for an adult, but L. is still a child. And B is his mother. It is her responsibility to do whatever she can to connect him to help. That does not mean he should come home or that she should be near him. And there are no guarantees that once L is an adult that he will help himself or fight for himself. But maybe he will. I believe he will. I believe he is already a person with imagination and independence and smarts and creativity. He is beloved in their community. People are NOT generally stupid. They do not love teenagers without reason. This is like my own son. A number of people love my son. They gravitate to him. He has kept his friend (the owner of the truck) since he was 12 years old. L. is the same way. Except L. has already functioned in a way (working independently with his business, teaching art classes, in a way that my son has not. This is a child worth trying to save. So that he will have a chance to save himself.</p><p></p><p>SWOT. You did not have somebody to give you a hand. To protect you. Neither did I. But L does. He has a mother who loves him and who fights for him. In this Residential Treatment Center (RTC) the biodad was paying, as I understand it. I don't know what the new arrangement will be. There are costs to everything. Even if B decided to save her money and not help L, there would be a cost to that. There would be the cost of B's broken heart. There would be the cost of whatever potential L would have lost. Because we do not know what his purpose in life will be. His story is not written. L is not the boy who you adopted. He has not hurt babies. He has hurt himself and he has tried to hurt his mother (I am not clear his intention was to kill her or if he had the capacity, the understanding to have real intent.)</p><p></p><p>But the thing is, L has somebody who wants to stick with him. There is nobody who seems to be his potential victim other than B. She can protect herself.</p><p>This is all too true. But sometimes the chaos that is caused by trauma can be recovered and its potential reclaimed. Typically this requires help.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 746209, member: 18958"] This is true for an adult, but L. is still a child. And B is his mother. It is her responsibility to do whatever she can to connect him to help. That does not mean he should come home or that she should be near him. And there are no guarantees that once L is an adult that he will help himself or fight for himself. But maybe he will. I believe he will. I believe he is already a person with imagination and independence and smarts and creativity. He is beloved in their community. People are NOT generally stupid. They do not love teenagers without reason. This is like my own son. A number of people love my son. They gravitate to him. He has kept his friend (the owner of the truck) since he was 12 years old. L. is the same way. Except L. has already functioned in a way (working independently with his business, teaching art classes, in a way that my son has not. This is a child worth trying to save. So that he will have a chance to save himself. SWOT. You did not have somebody to give you a hand. To protect you. Neither did I. But L does. He has a mother who loves him and who fights for him. In this Residential Treatment Center (RTC) the biodad was paying, as I understand it. I don't know what the new arrangement will be. There are costs to everything. Even if B decided to save her money and not help L, there would be a cost to that. There would be the cost of B's broken heart. There would be the cost of whatever potential L would have lost. Because we do not know what his purpose in life will be. His story is not written. L is not the boy who you adopted. He has not hurt babies. He has hurt himself and he has tried to hurt his mother (I am not clear his intention was to kill her or if he had the capacity, the understanding to have real intent.) But the thing is, L has somebody who wants to stick with him. There is nobody who seems to be his potential victim other than B. She can protect herself. This is all too true. But sometimes the chaos that is caused by trauma can be recovered and its potential reclaimed. Typically this requires help. [/QUOTE]
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