Just Smurfin' along...
OK, I'm sorry, but I am giggling like mad over here.
I have used rubbing alcohol and hair spray to get Sharpie and ball point pen off...
OH! Yes. Ponds cream (if it takes makeup off...?), Vaseline then St Ives Apricot scrub (they also sell this in Wal Mart version, much cheaper). Exfoliates nicely - but then you will need good lotion.