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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 466500" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am sorry it was such a rough visit. I would be very upset too. Maybe you and husband need to talk and see if it would be wise to let her handle her treatment herself, and not visit her. You have spent YEARS of your live trying to help her cope with her problems, and a huge amount of money. You have a right to live your lives and not keep shepherding her like a little girl. I know it is hard, esp if she is making bad choices. There has to be some point at which you say you have done enough, and it is her job to handle things now.</p><p></p><p>As for the counselor, BS. It is NOT better for difficult child to continue treatment at your house - not for the majority of people who live there and for the people who PAY for that house. It would be nice, and she would have few real responsibilites other than her treatment. But haven't you done that before? More than once? Why would it work now when it didn't before? </p><p></p><p>Isn't it Fran who said that insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result? I don't know what the solution is, but I am pretty sure that NO ONE in alanon would think that letting her move home was a great idea. Esp if she doesn't have a full time job and isn't paying her own way there. It would be letting her return to being a teen, and continue to take over your home and lives. </p><p></p><p>Maybe alanon would give you some new ideas and coping tools? </p><p></p><p>I am sorry she doesn't seem to change and still plays the "you don't love me" card. It has to be old and tired.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 466500, member: 1233"] I am sorry it was such a rough visit. I would be very upset too. Maybe you and husband need to talk and see if it would be wise to let her handle her treatment herself, and not visit her. You have spent YEARS of your live trying to help her cope with her problems, and a huge amount of money. You have a right to live your lives and not keep shepherding her like a little girl. I know it is hard, esp if she is making bad choices. There has to be some point at which you say you have done enough, and it is her job to handle things now. As for the counselor, BS. It is NOT better for difficult child to continue treatment at your house - not for the majority of people who live there and for the people who PAY for that house. It would be nice, and she would have few real responsibilites other than her treatment. But haven't you done that before? More than once? Why would it work now when it didn't before? Isn't it Fran who said that insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result? I don't know what the solution is, but I am pretty sure that NO ONE in alanon would think that letting her move home was a great idea. Esp if she doesn't have a full time job and isn't paying her own way there. It would be letting her return to being a teen, and continue to take over your home and lives. Maybe alanon would give you some new ideas and coping tools? I am sorry she doesn't seem to change and still plays the "you don't love me" card. It has to be old and tired. [/QUOTE]
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