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<blockquote data-quote="Signorina" data-source="post: 466660"><p>My son <strong>loved</strong> the idea of a contract!!! Loved it. <strong>Totally agreed to it</strong>. We did the whole Dr. Phil (or someone) contract when he first started driving regularly, the summer going into his junior year. It was very detailed including repercussions, and drug and alcohol use were a total deal breaker. I can still remember him saying it was a "totally, great idea" and smiling as he signed it at our kitchen table. 2 weeks later he got a drinking citation and we found out he had been partying all summer.</p><p></p><p>Kathy, you have 3 more weeks, right? I'd put on my Scarlett O'Hara bonnet (not the corset though) and "think about it tomorrow." Same thing with the visit. Honestly, I'd probably go. Only because I don't think it will make you feel better if you don't -- as brutal as it is -- I think not going will feel worse. And I would try to maintain the status quo. </p><p></p><p>From what I understand, she SHOULD be bristling at treatment at this stage. I remember difficult children therapist telling me so when he initially got therapy his junior year. He warned me at an initial session (privately) that things would get worse before they got better and that I should expect some resistance. (which is why we had the therapy court ordered) While difficult child did balk at going to his initial sessions, I am pretty sure the therapist received the brunt of the resistance. And it wasn't pretty.</p><p></p><p>I will never forget difficult child angrily asserting at an early joint session: "if we had let him stay out later without a curfew, he would not have used drugs or alcohol." Like that makes sense to anyone? I knew he was better when he laughed about it a few months later. "Can you believe I said that?"</p><p></p><p>3 years later, difficult child is back to his old habits. But he got a solid 28 months or so of good clean living including his HS diploma. While he is totally ignoring or forgetting everything he learned in therapy, I have to hope that it is still somewhere inside of him and that he will draw on it someday.</p><p></p><p>She's safe for now and she isn't home. Draw your strength from that. Plan something fun to do after the ride back or the next day. It will give you something to look forward to...</p><p>{hugs}</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Signorina, post: 466660"] My son [B]loved[/B] the idea of a contract!!! Loved it. [B]Totally agreed to it[/B]. We did the whole Dr. Phil (or someone) contract when he first started driving regularly, the summer going into his junior year. It was very detailed including repercussions, and drug and alcohol use were a total deal breaker. I can still remember him saying it was a "totally, great idea" and smiling as he signed it at our kitchen table. 2 weeks later he got a drinking citation and we found out he had been partying all summer. Kathy, you have 3 more weeks, right? I'd put on my Scarlett O'Hara bonnet (not the corset though) and "think about it tomorrow." Same thing with the visit. Honestly, I'd probably go. Only because I don't think it will make you feel better if you don't -- as brutal as it is -- I think not going will feel worse. And I would try to maintain the status quo. From what I understand, she SHOULD be bristling at treatment at this stage. I remember difficult children therapist telling me so when he initially got therapy his junior year. He warned me at an initial session (privately) that things would get worse before they got better and that I should expect some resistance. (which is why we had the therapy court ordered) While difficult child did balk at going to his initial sessions, I am pretty sure the therapist received the brunt of the resistance. And it wasn't pretty. I will never forget difficult child angrily asserting at an early joint session: "if we had let him stay out later without a curfew, he would not have used drugs or alcohol." Like that makes sense to anyone? I knew he was better when he laughed about it a few months later. "Can you believe I said that?" 3 years later, difficult child is back to his old habits. But he got a solid 28 months or so of good clean living including his HS diploma. While he is totally ignoring or forgetting everything he learned in therapy, I have to hope that it is still somewhere inside of him and that he will draw on it someday. She's safe for now and she isn't home. Draw your strength from that. Plan something fun to do after the ride back or the next day. It will give you something to look forward to... {hugs} [/QUOTE]
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