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Help me sort out my feelings...
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<blockquote data-quote="Irene_J" data-source="post: 147948" data-attributes="member: 181"><p>I had to add another post when you said that even though you should be able to leave your difficult child at home for a couple of days, that you wouldn't. I just turned down attending a business conference in another state because I was afraid to leave difficult child at home alone, and she's 20. Even though I basically feel okay with her there, I don't think she would have the strength and/or smarts to turn her friends away who would surely turn up if they knew I was gone. One of my house rules is no company when I am not at home. Neither male or female friends.</p><p></p><p>So I think now I understand your feelings even more. Although your difficult child is 18, you still have to do the things you had to do when he was 13 or 14. And if you have to care for him as a 14 year old, then you should be able to expect his presence at the dinner table and other family functions.</p><p></p><p>You are right though, that even if you "force" him to be home more, his obvious displeasure at being there may not be worth the trouble. It's almost a lose-lose situation.</p><p></p><p>Make it a win, by spending that "family" time on something just for you and/or partner. If he was a easy child, he'd be gone anyway, if not living in a dorm maybe in an apartment.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Irene_J, post: 147948, member: 181"] I had to add another post when you said that even though you should be able to leave your difficult child at home for a couple of days, that you wouldn't. I just turned down attending a business conference in another state because I was afraid to leave difficult child at home alone, and she's 20. Even though I basically feel okay with her there, I don't think she would have the strength and/or smarts to turn her friends away who would surely turn up if they knew I was gone. One of my house rules is no company when I am not at home. Neither male or female friends. So I think now I understand your feelings even more. Although your difficult child is 18, you still have to do the things you had to do when he was 13 or 14. And if you have to care for him as a 14 year old, then you should be able to expect his presence at the dinner table and other family functions. You are right though, that even if you "force" him to be home more, his obvious displeasure at being there may not be worth the trouble. It's almost a lose-lose situation. Make it a win, by spending that "family" time on something just for you and/or partner. If he was a easy child, he'd be gone anyway, if not living in a dorm maybe in an apartment. [/QUOTE]
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