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<blockquote data-quote="jbrain" data-source="post: 80782" data-attributes="member: 3450"><p>Hi,</p><p>my older dtr was very jealous of the younger dtr right from the get go. It didn't help that younger dtr played her role of "perfect child" very well for many years either! So, like Midwest Mom we had the bad girl and the good girl. Eventually, I came to the realization that the older one had to move out and could never return (she was 18) because she had so much effect on the younger one. She had been abusive to her when they were younger and I didn't know it (I knew she wasn't nice but didn't know she was actually abusive). The younger dtr couldn't make any progress in therapy til the older one was out. It felt so good to me to feel like my blinders were finally off--I realized younger dtr had to take priority. I had been so consumed with the older one's problems and trying to help her that I just left younger dtr to fend for herself. When I decided that younger dtr would be the priority it gave me the strength to let go of the older one and lo and behold it was the best thing I could have done for all of us. The older one actually took control of her life now that I was done helping and the younger one was able to start healing now that she knew she had a stable environment and that older dtr would not be coming back to live, ever. </p><p></p><p>Your son is 22--he needs to be gone, for all of your sakes, and maybe most importantly for his own!</p><p></p><p>Jane</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jbrain, post: 80782, member: 3450"] Hi, my older dtr was very jealous of the younger dtr right from the get go. It didn't help that younger dtr played her role of "perfect child" very well for many years either! So, like Midwest Mom we had the bad girl and the good girl. Eventually, I came to the realization that the older one had to move out and could never return (she was 18) because she had so much effect on the younger one. She had been abusive to her when they were younger and I didn't know it (I knew she wasn't nice but didn't know she was actually abusive). The younger dtr couldn't make any progress in therapy til the older one was out. It felt so good to me to feel like my blinders were finally off--I realized younger dtr had to take priority. I had been so consumed with the older one's problems and trying to help her that I just left younger dtr to fend for herself. When I decided that younger dtr would be the priority it gave me the strength to let go of the older one and lo and behold it was the best thing I could have done for all of us. The older one actually took control of her life now that I was done helping and the younger one was able to start healing now that she knew she had a stable environment and that older dtr would not be coming back to live, ever. Your son is 22--he needs to be gone, for all of your sakes, and maybe most importantly for his own! Jane [/QUOTE]
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