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Help! Poor social skills...now I'm afraid to volunteer again
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 607879" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I am trying really hard to read about social skills and realize, as I read, how many mistakes I make and how many of the unwritten rules I either didn't "get" or didn't think were useful. The thing is, socializing is a game, and if you don't play by the rules, you get booted, no matter what your age. In my younger years I was so busy with the kids that I didn't care if I fit into groups or not, but I'm older now and there are things I love to do, like volunteer. That requires working with a group of women because I am also kind of social. I LIKE goofing around with people and having them around, even if I don't really understand what makes the human race tick. Regardless of never having gotten the diagnosis, I know I am very Aspie-ish and I do have a non-verbal learning disability (documented) and I want to fit in just enough to not get "fired" from my next volunteer job! (It would be funny if I wasn't almost crying). Ok, so it IS funny <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> I so feel for those children who struggle so badly with social problems and get no help. Anyway, about the volunteering...</p><p></p><p>I am supposed to visit a thrift shop to volunteer tomorrow. It is similar to the other place but it isn't a place where everyone who works there has been in jail, like the other place...lol. I don't know if that will help me fit in or make it even worse because they are probably all neurotypical. Now I could take time off, but that will probably result in my never trying it again. I really don't want to be isolated.</p><p></p><p>Do any of you have any thoughts? Anyone else have poor social skills, maybe suspect they are near or on the spectrum? Anyone have any suggestions for fitting in "just enough" with a group of ladies who are all volunteering? I think that reading Jane wrong and making a joke about something she did that she was actually serious about was what may have set off Jane. Is it better just to be quiet and observe at first? Is it EVER safe for somebody who has trouble reading body language to speak much?</p><p></p><p>It's really sad that I'm this nervous about volunteering at this thrift shop. It is a wonderful organization that helps kids with Downs Syndrome, Autism and other developmental disabilities and I would like to participate and help.</p><p></p><p>I would appreciate any feedback at all about how to best do this. Sitting in my house, spending my wonderful golden years in solitude, is not my idea of making the most of my life. On the other hand, it's bad enough getting fired from a job, although I still have no doubt that THAT had nothing to do with my social skills...the bus driver was nuts. The volunteer job WAS my fault, although not deliberately. </p><p></p><p>Who gets fired from a volunteer job? LOLOLOL. Help!!!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 607879, member: 1550"] I am trying really hard to read about social skills and realize, as I read, how many mistakes I make and how many of the unwritten rules I either didn't "get" or didn't think were useful. The thing is, socializing is a game, and if you don't play by the rules, you get booted, no matter what your age. In my younger years I was so busy with the kids that I didn't care if I fit into groups or not, but I'm older now and there are things I love to do, like volunteer. That requires working with a group of women because I am also kind of social. I LIKE goofing around with people and having them around, even if I don't really understand what makes the human race tick. Regardless of never having gotten the diagnosis, I know I am very Aspie-ish and I do have a non-verbal learning disability (documented) and I want to fit in just enough to not get "fired" from my next volunteer job! (It would be funny if I wasn't almost crying). Ok, so it IS funny :) I so feel for those children who struggle so badly with social problems and get no help. Anyway, about the volunteering... I am supposed to visit a thrift shop to volunteer tomorrow. It is similar to the other place but it isn't a place where everyone who works there has been in jail, like the other place...lol. I don't know if that will help me fit in or make it even worse because they are probably all neurotypical. Now I could take time off, but that will probably result in my never trying it again. I really don't want to be isolated. Do any of you have any thoughts? Anyone else have poor social skills, maybe suspect they are near or on the spectrum? Anyone have any suggestions for fitting in "just enough" with a group of ladies who are all volunteering? I think that reading Jane wrong and making a joke about something she did that she was actually serious about was what may have set off Jane. Is it better just to be quiet and observe at first? Is it EVER safe for somebody who has trouble reading body language to speak much? It's really sad that I'm this nervous about volunteering at this thrift shop. It is a wonderful organization that helps kids with Downs Syndrome, Autism and other developmental disabilities and I would like to participate and help. I would appreciate any feedback at all about how to best do this. Sitting in my house, spending my wonderful golden years in solitude, is not my idea of making the most of my life. On the other hand, it's bad enough getting fired from a job, although I still have no doubt that THAT had nothing to do with my social skills...the bus driver was nuts. The volunteer job WAS my fault, although not deliberately. Who gets fired from a volunteer job? LOLOLOL. Help!!!!! [/QUOTE]
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Help! Poor social skills...now I'm afraid to volunteer again
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