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Parent Emeritus
Help requested by new member - sorry if this has been covered elsewhere!
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<blockquote data-quote="strugglingwithgirls" data-source="post: 492774" data-attributes="member: 13478"><p>Hi Nancy</p><p></p><p>Thanks for your answer, it is good to know there are people out there who have been through something similar and care enough to respond. I think I had kind of come to this conclusion that I need to stay in more contact, if she will let me - she lives across the other side of the country, so it's not that easy, especially as she loses her phone regularly (another worry for me, as it is always after a night out) and often ignores my messages saying she has no credit on her phone or no internet access. I feel it is down to the influence of her boyfriend. I feel that she just doesn't see me as a 'soft place to land' as I have been vociferous in the past about her life choices, although I have been trying to soften my approach as I feel my honesty just doesn't work with her. It's a tough one but I would like for her to feel that I am there for her no matter what (and I always have been, though not always without reproach for her behaviour). I have been very accepting of her this Christmas even though she got very drunk on Christmas Eve and spend most of Christmas Day being sick (and also lost her phone and purse whilst out in town drinking). I didn't reproach her at all although I did at one juncture point out that if she didn't want to feel like that or lose her phone she needed to not drink as much or get so out of control. But not in a judgemental way. How do other parents deal with this? Am I being too soft or have I been too harsh in the past??</p><p></p><p>D</p><p>x</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="strugglingwithgirls, post: 492774, member: 13478"] Hi Nancy Thanks for your answer, it is good to know there are people out there who have been through something similar and care enough to respond. I think I had kind of come to this conclusion that I need to stay in more contact, if she will let me - she lives across the other side of the country, so it's not that easy, especially as she loses her phone regularly (another worry for me, as it is always after a night out) and often ignores my messages saying she has no credit on her phone or no internet access. I feel it is down to the influence of her boyfriend. I feel that she just doesn't see me as a 'soft place to land' as I have been vociferous in the past about her life choices, although I have been trying to soften my approach as I feel my honesty just doesn't work with her. It's a tough one but I would like for her to feel that I am there for her no matter what (and I always have been, though not always without reproach for her behaviour). I have been very accepting of her this Christmas even though she got very drunk on Christmas Eve and spend most of Christmas Day being sick (and also lost her phone and purse whilst out in town drinking). I didn't reproach her at all although I did at one juncture point out that if she didn't want to feel like that or lose her phone she needed to not drink as much or get so out of control. But not in a judgemental way. How do other parents deal with this? Am I being too soft or have I been too harsh in the past?? D x [/QUOTE]
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Help requested by new member - sorry if this has been covered elsewhere!
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