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Special Ed 101
HELP! school and law problems
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<blockquote data-quote="WhereIsTheLight" data-source="post: 39610" data-attributes="member: 3673"><p>klmno-</p><p></p><p>I'm so sorry for all this. We have very similar situations and unfortunately, I'm just not savvy with the workings of the school and law, although I've had several dealings with them both.</p><p></p><p>She is also highly intelligent and displays the same kind of behavior you describe above. However, my daughter became acute shortly after 9/11 when she entered the high school and my divorce was becoming final.</p><p></p><p>I did seem to have much more support from the school, even though at one point a particularly smarmy VP told me he was going to start incorrigibility charges against my difficult child, which would have not only financially devestated me, but could very well have made her a ward of the state. Thankfully, her school SW stepped in and we had an Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED).</p><p></p><p>We came up with a plan that when difficult child felt like an outburst was coming on, she would be allowed to remove herself from the class, notify a SW or an adult she trusted, and decompress in the media center or study hall. It worked - until difficult child started to take advantage of the situation. Finally, she was given 5 'passes', which she used economically. She began to get herself under control (she was in therapy and on medications at the time as well), but then turned 16 and dropped out of high school. It took two more alternative ed schools for her to get her diploma, but she made it.</p><p></p><p>As far as the law is concerned, she spent 5 weeks in juvy and 6 on a tether after a domestic assault charge against me. I truly believe this is what contained her violent tendencies and she has not gotten physical with me since. It was hard to see her in shackles - until she flipped me off in front of the judge - and it was hard to see her in juvy and on a tether, but she just had to go through these consequences. Sometimes, we have to let the legal system take its course, and believe that in the long run, it is the best thing to do.</p><p></p><p>Perhaps if he gets involved with the legal system he would get more attention where it's needed and get accommodation from the school. </p><p></p><p>I don't think I've offered you much help, but I really wanted to let you know, you are not alone and we are pulling for you. I know how difficult this is to go through single, without a male spirit to help, and with the rest of the world crashing down. I could also write a book.</p><p></p><p>But let me leave you with this - although your child may be a challenge right now, if he is smart and has a moral compass, he will get through this. Somedays it may not feel like it, and although I have to continue to be tough on my difficult child (I recently kicked her out of the house because her attitude towards me is disrespectful, disruptive and argumentative. She thinks she owns the house), her behavior has improved, she is no longer cutting, she is not violent, she doesn't steal and she stays clear of the law.</p><p></p><p>Good luck and God Bless.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WhereIsTheLight, post: 39610, member: 3673"] klmno- I'm so sorry for all this. We have very similar situations and unfortunately, I'm just not savvy with the workings of the school and law, although I've had several dealings with them both. She is also highly intelligent and displays the same kind of behavior you describe above. However, my daughter became acute shortly after 9/11 when she entered the high school and my divorce was becoming final. I did seem to have much more support from the school, even though at one point a particularly smarmy VP told me he was going to start incorrigibility charges against my difficult child, which would have not only financially devestated me, but could very well have made her a ward of the state. Thankfully, her school SW stepped in and we had an Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED). We came up with a plan that when difficult child felt like an outburst was coming on, she would be allowed to remove herself from the class, notify a SW or an adult she trusted, and decompress in the media center or study hall. It worked - until difficult child started to take advantage of the situation. Finally, she was given 5 'passes', which she used economically. She began to get herself under control (she was in therapy and on medications at the time as well), but then turned 16 and dropped out of high school. It took two more alternative ed schools for her to get her diploma, but she made it. As far as the law is concerned, she spent 5 weeks in juvy and 6 on a tether after a domestic assault charge against me. I truly believe this is what contained her violent tendencies and she has not gotten physical with me since. It was hard to see her in shackles - until she flipped me off in front of the judge - and it was hard to see her in juvy and on a tether, but she just had to go through these consequences. Sometimes, we have to let the legal system take its course, and believe that in the long run, it is the best thing to do. Perhaps if he gets involved with the legal system he would get more attention where it's needed and get accommodation from the school. I don't think I've offered you much help, but I really wanted to let you know, you are not alone and we are pulling for you. I know how difficult this is to go through single, without a male spirit to help, and with the rest of the world crashing down. I could also write a book. But let me leave you with this - although your child may be a challenge right now, if he is smart and has a moral compass, he will get through this. Somedays it may not feel like it, and although I have to continue to be tough on my difficult child (I recently kicked her out of the house because her attitude towards me is disrespectful, disruptive and argumentative. She thinks she owns the house), her behavior has improved, she is no longer cutting, she is not violent, she doesn't steal and she stays clear of the law. Good luck and God Bless. [/QUOTE]
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