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HELP - Suicidal difficult child out of p-hospital!!
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 621438" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Oh tryagain, I am so very sorry. This is monumentally frustrating, I know that feeling all too well. It's such a jolt to our systems to feel safe for that moment in time and then suddenly and often violently, the rug is once again pulled out from under you.</p><p></p><p>I completely agree with MWM and the others. If there was ever a time to impact her with boundaries, this is it. If you all, including the boyfriend, set stringent boundaries, do not allow her to come home <em>anywhere,</em> do not allow her to have a car, to not supply her with any money or any resources, keep those boundaries tightly woven around ALL of you, she will either recognize the folly of her resistance or she will need to find a shelter or someplace to figure it out on her own. Like in an intervention, perhaps you can all tell her how you feel, or write her how you feel.......... that you will no longer tolerate this behavior and she seeks help or the fortress you all create around yourselves will remain intact.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes in the darkest moments, when we have tried everything else, a situation like this arises and even though it can feel so terrible, it may in fact be that opportunity you have all wished for to make it clear to her that you all have reached the point of no return, this is where the era of her control over your lives ends. Her choices will no longer have the power they once had, <em>you are all done.</em></p><p></p><p>There is nothing else you can do but tell her what your boundaries are, what you are willing to do and not willing to do and then to let go. Not an easy task I understand. If you don't take a stand at some point, all of your lives will be ruled by the whims of a bi-polar person who refuses the medications she requires............and let's face it, that's a nightmare. There is a high percentage of bi-polar folks who refuse to take medication, if she remains one of them, I think the only choice left to you is to detach from her behavior in the best way you can. Often that requires the help of professionals since it is such a challenging journey for us parents.</p><p></p><p>Put the focus on yourself now and take some deep breaths and know that all of us here are here for you whenever you need us. You aren't alone. Sending you prayers for your family and gentle and caring hugs............my hope for you is that you find peace............</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 621438, member: 13542"] Oh tryagain, I am so very sorry. This is monumentally frustrating, I know that feeling all too well. It's such a jolt to our systems to feel safe for that moment in time and then suddenly and often violently, the rug is once again pulled out from under you. I completely agree with MWM and the others. If there was ever a time to impact her with boundaries, this is it. If you all, including the boyfriend, set stringent boundaries, do not allow her to come home [I]anywhere,[/I] do not allow her to have a car, to not supply her with any money or any resources, keep those boundaries tightly woven around ALL of you, she will either recognize the folly of her resistance or she will need to find a shelter or someplace to figure it out on her own. Like in an intervention, perhaps you can all tell her how you feel, or write her how you feel.......... that you will no longer tolerate this behavior and she seeks help or the fortress you all create around yourselves will remain intact. Sometimes in the darkest moments, when we have tried everything else, a situation like this arises and even though it can feel so terrible, it may in fact be that opportunity you have all wished for to make it clear to her that you all have reached the point of no return, this is where the era of her control over your lives ends. Her choices will no longer have the power they once had, [I]you are all done.[/I] There is nothing else you can do but tell her what your boundaries are, what you are willing to do and not willing to do and then to let go. Not an easy task I understand. If you don't take a stand at some point, all of your lives will be ruled by the whims of a bi-polar person who refuses the medications she requires............and let's face it, that's a nightmare. There is a high percentage of bi-polar folks who refuse to take medication, if she remains one of them, I think the only choice left to you is to detach from her behavior in the best way you can. Often that requires the help of professionals since it is such a challenging journey for us parents. Put the focus on yourself now and take some deep breaths and know that all of us here are here for you whenever you need us. You aren't alone. Sending you prayers for your family and gentle and caring hugs............my hope for you is that you find peace............ [/QUOTE]
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