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HELP - Suicidal difficult child out of p-hospital!!
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 621471" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I really don't think the hospital will try to talk her into coming back, although it could have changed since I've been in one...haha, I'm the resident crazy person who has actually been in psychiatric hospitals. But, truly, they only want you there these days if you are CURRENTLY a threat to yoruself. Big deal if you overdosed last week. I don't think the hospitals will waste a moment trying to get her to come back, especially since she was non-complaint. When I was in the psychiatric hospital, you could get thrown into seclusion for acting out and/or refusing treatment. We could hear the people screaming in the seclusion room.It didn't matter if you were depression or had paranoid schizophrenia. There were rules of behavior even in the psychiatric hospital and if you didn't comply, you were put into a small room with nothing but a mattress and you were locked in until you calmed down and could be civil to the doctor who had the say-so as to when it was ok for you to come out.</p><p></p><p>BITS, I do not think an intervention will work. Again, this is my own personal opinion. Daughter is in no way interested in getting better. She had the chance. Sometimes I think the more we push, the more they resist. Trying to control them because of our concern for them doesn't work. How many of us have had success hammering our kids to get better?</p><p></p><p>Although I do not think it is enabling our kids to try to talk them into getting help, I don't think it does any good and it can turn into a big "it's all YOUR fault" session by difficult child. It all comes down to one thing: The person who is ill has to want to get better. Period. If they don't, they don't. And because of the "civil rights" of the mentally ill, whether or not they think they are impaired or not, they can't be forced to get help unless they are currently suicidal (and they have to admit it or show it AT THE MOMENT) or waving a gun around and threatening other people. I do think our kids know there are things wrong with them, but are resistant to getting help for reasons of their own. Sometimes it is drug addiction, which is a compound problem when one is also mentally ill. Some have personality disorders, which make them not WANT to change, even though it doesn't work for them and works even less well for others. </p><p></p><p>All in all, having suffered from plenty of mental illnesses myself, I can honestly say that the only reason I got so much better was because I was always medication compliant, I checked in with my doctors and therapists regularly, I did a ton of self-help (including self-help groups and tons of reading), and I had a monster desire to live a happy, normal life. I had many struggles early on, but I never quit trying and I had no parents to pat me on the back and make me feel better as they didn't care. I often think that this was to my advantage. I had nobody to fall back on, so I had to do it myself. And I've done really well, all things considered. Another thing I knew was that alcohol and recreational drugs would make me worse so I didn't use them. An enormous part of maintaining stability when you have mental health issues is the desire to do so and the willingness to live a healthy lifestyle in every way. It is not easy, and that's why so many don't do it. It's easier to stay sick and get pity, if you can. That's why it's so bad for us, as parents, to show too much sympathy. THAT can enable and discourage the hard work it takes for them to improve. The strong desire to live normally MUST be there, not a liking for the "misfit" society. You have to want a regular life.</p><p></p><p>I don't think most of our difficult children are in that state of mind, which is why most are doing so poorly even as they get older and older. If this girl is ready to get help, she will. If she's not, she won't. And nothing can make h er do it until the day comes when she is really ready to say, "I want to live a normal, healthy, happy lifestyle and I"m going to try to do it and mom can't do it for me. She can't even help me. It is MY journey." Because it is.</p><p></p><p>As usual, read, take what you like, leave the rest, toss the worst in the trash, and do what feels best to YOU. We share with respect for one another and not to push anyone down their wrong path.</p><p></p><p>Wishing you serenity and peace tonight, each and every one of you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 621471, member: 1550"] I really don't think the hospital will try to talk her into coming back, although it could have changed since I've been in one...haha, I'm the resident crazy person who has actually been in psychiatric hospitals. But, truly, they only want you there these days if you are CURRENTLY a threat to yoruself. Big deal if you overdosed last week. I don't think the hospitals will waste a moment trying to get her to come back, especially since she was non-complaint. When I was in the psychiatric hospital, you could get thrown into seclusion for acting out and/or refusing treatment. We could hear the people screaming in the seclusion room.It didn't matter if you were depression or had paranoid schizophrenia. There were rules of behavior even in the psychiatric hospital and if you didn't comply, you were put into a small room with nothing but a mattress and you were locked in until you calmed down and could be civil to the doctor who had the say-so as to when it was ok for you to come out. BITS, I do not think an intervention will work. Again, this is my own personal opinion. Daughter is in no way interested in getting better. She had the chance. Sometimes I think the more we push, the more they resist. Trying to control them because of our concern for them doesn't work. How many of us have had success hammering our kids to get better? Although I do not think it is enabling our kids to try to talk them into getting help, I don't think it does any good and it can turn into a big "it's all YOUR fault" session by difficult child. It all comes down to one thing: The person who is ill has to want to get better. Period. If they don't, they don't. And because of the "civil rights" of the mentally ill, whether or not they think they are impaired or not, they can't be forced to get help unless they are currently suicidal (and they have to admit it or show it AT THE MOMENT) or waving a gun around and threatening other people. I do think our kids know there are things wrong with them, but are resistant to getting help for reasons of their own. Sometimes it is drug addiction, which is a compound problem when one is also mentally ill. Some have personality disorders, which make them not WANT to change, even though it doesn't work for them and works even less well for others. All in all, having suffered from plenty of mental illnesses myself, I can honestly say that the only reason I got so much better was because I was always medication compliant, I checked in with my doctors and therapists regularly, I did a ton of self-help (including self-help groups and tons of reading), and I had a monster desire to live a happy, normal life. I had many struggles early on, but I never quit trying and I had no parents to pat me on the back and make me feel better as they didn't care. I often think that this was to my advantage. I had nobody to fall back on, so I had to do it myself. And I've done really well, all things considered. Another thing I knew was that alcohol and recreational drugs would make me worse so I didn't use them. An enormous part of maintaining stability when you have mental health issues is the desire to do so and the willingness to live a healthy lifestyle in every way. It is not easy, and that's why so many don't do it. It's easier to stay sick and get pity, if you can. That's why it's so bad for us, as parents, to show too much sympathy. THAT can enable and discourage the hard work it takes for them to improve. The strong desire to live normally MUST be there, not a liking for the "misfit" society. You have to want a regular life. I don't think most of our difficult children are in that state of mind, which is why most are doing so poorly even as they get older and older. If this girl is ready to get help, she will. If she's not, she won't. And nothing can make h er do it until the day comes when she is really ready to say, "I want to live a normal, healthy, happy lifestyle and I"m going to try to do it and mom can't do it for me. She can't even help me. It is MY journey." Because it is. As usual, read, take what you like, leave the rest, toss the worst in the trash, and do what feels best to YOU. We share with respect for one another and not to push anyone down their wrong path. Wishing you serenity and peace tonight, each and every one of you. [/QUOTE]
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HELP - Suicidal difficult child out of p-hospital!!
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