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<blockquote data-quote="Mom2oddson" data-source="post: 413063" data-attributes="member: 65"><p>You have to realize that you can't "do" for someone else. Just like you can't exercise to help someone else lose weight. Each individual is responsible for their own actions. And no matter how much we as parents hurt over our child's choices in live, it is their choices. </p><p></p><p>You have tried to help your son and he doesn't change. It's that old saying "Nothing changes until something changes" You need to change something and that is your helping (or enabling) your son. </p><p></p><p>As a Mom I know how you feel. When my daughter Steph moved out (left) at 16, I was sure she'd be dead within a few months. She's not. She's still living a distructive life, but she seems to survive it with no problems (at least to her). </p><p></p><p>Ant has been on his own since 16. He seems to have no problem finding couches to surf on, and people to take care of him. </p><p></p><p>It is very hard to detach. But that is our job as a parent. I was told once that from the moment of birth, our children are on a path away from us and that we need to be willing to let them go so that they can be adults. I know it's harder when the child seems to be throwing that life away. </p><p></p><p>I wish you the best of luck. And come talk to us everyday if you need to. We are all going through this together. And the support I get here is what helps me deal with my kids when I don't know how I'm going to make it through the day.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mom2oddson, post: 413063, member: 65"] You have to realize that you can't "do" for someone else. Just like you can't exercise to help someone else lose weight. Each individual is responsible for their own actions. And no matter how much we as parents hurt over our child's choices in live, it is their choices. You have tried to help your son and he doesn't change. It's that old saying "Nothing changes until something changes" You need to change something and that is your helping (or enabling) your son. As a Mom I know how you feel. When my daughter Steph moved out (left) at 16, I was sure she'd be dead within a few months. She's not. She's still living a distructive life, but she seems to survive it with no problems (at least to her). Ant has been on his own since 16. He seems to have no problem finding couches to surf on, and people to take care of him. It is very hard to detach. But that is our job as a parent. I was told once that from the moment of birth, our children are on a path away from us and that we need to be willing to let them go so that they can be adults. I know it's harder when the child seems to be throwing that life away. I wish you the best of luck. And come talk to us everyday if you need to. We are all going through this together. And the support I get here is what helps me deal with my kids when I don't know how I'm going to make it through the day. [/QUOTE]
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