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<blockquote data-quote="Mom2oddson" data-source="post: 413082" data-attributes="member: 65"><p>I couldn't take a lot of time answering in the first post. I had to leave to take easy child to the airport. On the drive there and back I kept thinking about your post. </p><p></p><p></p><p>In the past few weeks, we've had a skier die in an avalanche, someone die when a tree fell on their house, a car load of 19-20 boys die in a car wreck because they were drinking and driving, and Ant's good friend was sentenced to 50 years in a federal prison. In first two situations, things that were out of their control happened to them. The other two it was consequences of their own actions. .....in each of these cases, their is a mother who is going on with life because she has to. In all cases, none of these mothers did a thing to cause the situation and none of them could of done a thing to prevent it. </p><p></p><p>In the case of Ant's friend...M did everything she could to help her son including getting the police involved. D was on his own path and there was nothing M could do.</p><p></p><p>But let's also look at this from the other side. How has everything you've done in the past helped your son improve on his life? By giving him a place to live and a small allowance, has he learned to be responsible for himself? Has he learned self-motivation? Has he learned how to be an adult? Or is he still living the life of a Junior High kid whose mommy takes care of everything? </p><p></p><p>I have three kids, one is on his way back to college and two are throwing their lives away right now. (and I say right now because I do hope that they get it together someday). All three kids were raised together with the same opportunities. Add to that, Ant is so much smarter and more talented then easy child could ever hope to be. Yet, they have each chosen their own path in life. And no matter how many times I tried to be a road block or even a brick wall to prevent the two from going down the path they chose.....it didn't help. It didn't stop them or slow them down. But it did make them all that much more determined to go the way they want. </p><p></p><p>There is no easy answer. I really wish, for my sake, that there was an easy one. </p><p></p><p>{{{Hugs}}}</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mom2oddson, post: 413082, member: 65"] I couldn't take a lot of time answering in the first post. I had to leave to take easy child to the airport. On the drive there and back I kept thinking about your post. In the past few weeks, we've had a skier die in an avalanche, someone die when a tree fell on their house, a car load of 19-20 boys die in a car wreck because they were drinking and driving, and Ant's good friend was sentenced to 50 years in a federal prison. In first two situations, things that were out of their control happened to them. The other two it was consequences of their own actions. .....in each of these cases, their is a mother who is going on with life because she has to. In all cases, none of these mothers did a thing to cause the situation and none of them could of done a thing to prevent it. In the case of Ant's friend...M did everything she could to help her son including getting the police involved. D was on his own path and there was nothing M could do. But let's also look at this from the other side. How has everything you've done in the past helped your son improve on his life? By giving him a place to live and a small allowance, has he learned to be responsible for himself? Has he learned self-motivation? Has he learned how to be an adult? Or is he still living the life of a Junior High kid whose mommy takes care of everything? I have three kids, one is on his way back to college and two are throwing their lives away right now. (and I say right now because I do hope that they get it together someday). All three kids were raised together with the same opportunities. Add to that, Ant is so much smarter and more talented then easy child could ever hope to be. Yet, they have each chosen their own path in life. And no matter how many times I tried to be a road block or even a brick wall to prevent the two from going down the path they chose.....it didn't help. It didn't stop them or slow them down. But it did make them all that much more determined to go the way they want. There is no easy answer. I really wish, for my sake, that there was an easy one. {{{Hugs}}} [/QUOTE]
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