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Help with defiant 13-yr-old daughter
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 604281" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I've adopted kids too and done foster care. There is little you can do for Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS)/Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE) other than to carefully watch the child so that she is safe as (you probably know) they do not retain information and don't understand how to do the right thing. It's not t heir faults. It's organic brain damage. Many Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS)/Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE) kids are on ADHD medications, but they rarely do much to solve issues such as defiance. She also likely has other things going on that are genetic or due to other drugs used or attachment issues. </p><p></p><p>Are you seeing professionals who are familiar with the neurological problems that kids like this face? ODD is a very unhelpful diagnosis used mostly for young kids who are defiant when the doctor has no idea why they are defiant. You can not diagnose drug affected kids the same way you diagnose other kids. I adopted one who had cocaine in his system at birth. He was tricky to diagnose and it took specialists and a few neuropsychologist evaluations. We also adopted one eleven year old boy who was literally a young psychopath and sexual predator and is no longer in our family due to the danger he posed...he was also exposed to drugs in utero. Nobody caught the Severe Reactive Attachment DIsorder he was diagnosed with once he was gone and living in a facility for young sexual predators. All the psychiatrists got him wrong. For eleven years.</p><p></p><p>in my opinion you need to have her evaluated by a neuropsychologist who is FAMILIAR with the issues of adopted children AND those exposed to substances before they are born. If you don't seek out these sort of specialists, you may well get a wrong diagnosis. They may look ADHD, but that's almost never the big picture when kids have the backgrounds that your kids do...but even professionals often don't get it. Heck, many have no idea what attachment disorder even is. I would seek out a neuropsychologist in a university hospital who has seen and treated many adopted children. They see things other professionals never see.</p><p></p><p>I'm amazed and awed that you took on such a huge responsibility.</p><p></p><p>Good luck to you, welcome to the board, and keep us posted! My son who had cocaine in his system has autistic spectrum disorder, but he is almost twenty now and doing very well. It can happen.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 604281, member: 1550"] I've adopted kids too and done foster care. There is little you can do for Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS)/Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE) other than to carefully watch the child so that she is safe as (you probably know) they do not retain information and don't understand how to do the right thing. It's not t heir faults. It's organic brain damage. Many Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS)/Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE) kids are on ADHD medications, but they rarely do much to solve issues such as defiance. She also likely has other things going on that are genetic or due to other drugs used or attachment issues. Are you seeing professionals who are familiar with the neurological problems that kids like this face? ODD is a very unhelpful diagnosis used mostly for young kids who are defiant when the doctor has no idea why they are defiant. You can not diagnose drug affected kids the same way you diagnose other kids. I adopted one who had cocaine in his system at birth. He was tricky to diagnose and it took specialists and a few neuropsychologist evaluations. We also adopted one eleven year old boy who was literally a young psychopath and sexual predator and is no longer in our family due to the danger he posed...he was also exposed to drugs in utero. Nobody caught the Severe Reactive Attachment DIsorder he was diagnosed with once he was gone and living in a facility for young sexual predators. All the psychiatrists got him wrong. For eleven years. in my opinion you need to have her evaluated by a neuropsychologist who is FAMILIAR with the issues of adopted children AND those exposed to substances before they are born. If you don't seek out these sort of specialists, you may well get a wrong diagnosis. They may look ADHD, but that's almost never the big picture when kids have the backgrounds that your kids do...but even professionals often don't get it. Heck, many have no idea what attachment disorder even is. I would seek out a neuropsychologist in a university hospital who has seen and treated many adopted children. They see things other professionals never see. I'm amazed and awed that you took on such a huge responsibility. Good luck to you, welcome to the board, and keep us posted! My son who had cocaine in his system has autistic spectrum disorder, but he is almost twenty now and doing very well. It can happen. [/QUOTE]
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