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Parent Emeritus
Help with logistics and mechanics of difficult children and chores
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<blockquote data-quote="dashcat" data-source="post: 531942" data-attributes="member: 9175"><p>Thanks, all.</p><p>Calamity your first paragraph says it all. She would live in utter squalor, given the choice. At her dad's condo , the only thing upstairs is a big room and full bath. He never went up there and, even though I told him that you could smell it downstairs (Ugh!) he didn't do anything until she left. She iwll wear dirty clothes rather than wash them and Mr. Ostrich even told me she threw out dishes at times rather than wash them!!! I've been on her about not leaving dishes on the counter (when the dishwasher is right there, for heaven's sake!) and hav explained that she can't leave dirty clothes and wet towels on her floor because I can smell them. I work from home, and customers come here. Unnacceptable.</p><p></p><p>It's just one more maddening facet of dealing with a difficult child. Nothing is simple.</p><p> </p><p>One of the things I'm trying to figure out is, what are the consequences of her not helping? As Calamity pointed out, she doesn't care if it's messy and she knows darned well that I'll clean it up rather than live with it. I can't see lowering my own standards, either. When she was in high school I could say "I'm sorry, but you can't go out tonight. I asked you twice to pick up your room (dishes, whatever) and it isn't done. you'll need to stay home to finish it. I mean, I can hardly say that to a 20 year old who owns her own car. </p><p></p><p>Sigh.</p><p>Dash</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dashcat, post: 531942, member: 9175"] Thanks, all. Calamity your first paragraph says it all. She would live in utter squalor, given the choice. At her dad's condo , the only thing upstairs is a big room and full bath. He never went up there and, even though I told him that you could smell it downstairs (Ugh!) he didn't do anything until she left. She iwll wear dirty clothes rather than wash them and Mr. Ostrich even told me she threw out dishes at times rather than wash them!!! I've been on her about not leaving dishes on the counter (when the dishwasher is right there, for heaven's sake!) and hav explained that she can't leave dirty clothes and wet towels on her floor because I can smell them. I work from home, and customers come here. Unnacceptable. It's just one more maddening facet of dealing with a difficult child. Nothing is simple. One of the things I'm trying to figure out is, what are the consequences of her not helping? As Calamity pointed out, she doesn't care if it's messy and she knows darned well that I'll clean it up rather than live with it. I can't see lowering my own standards, either. When she was in high school I could say "I'm sorry, but you can't go out tonight. I asked you twice to pick up your room (dishes, whatever) and it isn't done. you'll need to stay home to finish it. I mean, I can hardly say that to a 20 year old who owns her own car. Sigh. Dash [/QUOTE]
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Help with logistics and mechanics of difficult children and chores
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