Sending sympathy, Wiggles, as even the tiny bit of that sort of behavior I've seen from my daughter totally flummoxed me. It's so hard to know what to do, and other people think they have a clue but really don't. I wonder if you could ask this good teacher your son has to give you some pointers on how she manages her classroom that maybe would work at home as well. I just really hate the image of you having to lock yourself in a room to get away from your son; we have to find a way to stop this! Also, could you have a girlfriend spend a few nights at your place and observe? Maybe an outsider like that could make some objective observations about the things that seem to set your son off and help you alter the environmental stimuli that seem to be a problem for him. If you can just somehow modify his behavior a bit until you can get a diagnosis through some testing...I'd feel so relieved for you! You shouldn't have to have it so rough in your own home.
By the way, I've never in my life used time outs with my kids. I could never imagine they would work. I know that others swear by them, but I always imagined my kids reacting like your son, i.e. being like, "Yeah, you and what army are gonna make me?!" Hopefully in due course you and some medical professionals can find a way to channel your son's strength of will constructively.
Take care, Ranny
