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<blockquote data-quote="Shari" data-source="post: 183267" data-attributes="member: 1848"><p>I'm of a slightly different school of thought on this.</p><p>***</p><p>I will agree that since the child is "yours", you do have final say on punishment, etc. husband and I reserve the right to veto each other based on this principal in our own house. HOWEVER - I dropped the "mine" mentality when husband moved in. He is the only father figure my kids have, and I beleive it is more imortant to display a united front than it is to worry about who's kid is who's. He has full "disciplinarian access" to "my" kids, as I do to "his" - any disagreements are worked out in private and the reasons for any changes are never credited to "he/she went to far with "my" kid". </p><p>***</p><p>Everyone in our house knows the story of where they came from and why. They know bio's are out there, etc, but we dropped "step" from our family's daily vocab early on. Everyone belongs here - no one more so than another, which is a connotation "step" conjures up, so we just dropped it. We're a family. Period. If anyone wants detailed dynamics, we'll talk.</p><p>***</p><p>And PS - it doesn't always work perfectly, but this is the principal we try to follow and the goal we're working towards.</p><p>***</p><p>That said, I think SO is taking it too far with the cable tv since it impacts you. If he wants to dish that out, let him enjoy the consequences of it and take difficult child's calls all day. But in a case like this, I'd probably let SO handle the punishment altogether and encourage him to put difficult child to work for him, repaying the stolen money (and pay by the job. not the hour) or pawn the games to get SO's money and let difficult child earn them back. I'd also think about calling the local sheriff and asking if someone had time to swing by and chat with difficult child.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Shari, post: 183267, member: 1848"] I'm of a slightly different school of thought on this. *** I will agree that since the child is "yours", you do have final say on punishment, etc. husband and I reserve the right to veto each other based on this principal in our own house. HOWEVER - I dropped the "mine" mentality when husband moved in. He is the only father figure my kids have, and I beleive it is more imortant to display a united front than it is to worry about who's kid is who's. He has full "disciplinarian access" to "my" kids, as I do to "his" - any disagreements are worked out in private and the reasons for any changes are never credited to "he/she went to far with "my" kid". *** Everyone in our house knows the story of where they came from and why. They know bio's are out there, etc, but we dropped "step" from our family's daily vocab early on. Everyone belongs here - no one more so than another, which is a connotation "step" conjures up, so we just dropped it. We're a family. Period. If anyone wants detailed dynamics, we'll talk. *** And PS - it doesn't always work perfectly, but this is the principal we try to follow and the goal we're working towards. *** That said, I think SO is taking it too far with the cable tv since it impacts you. If he wants to dish that out, let him enjoy the consequences of it and take difficult child's calls all day. But in a case like this, I'd probably let SO handle the punishment altogether and encourage him to put difficult child to work for him, repaying the stolen money (and pay by the job. not the hour) or pawn the games to get SO's money and let difficult child earn them back. I'd also think about calling the local sheriff and asking if someone had time to swing by and chat with difficult child. [/QUOTE]
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