It helped me to find a picture of a group of young soldiers in uniform. I cut it out of the newspaper and posted it next to the phone. Whenever difficult child called, I would look at that picture and remember there were nineteen year olds out there in conditions impossibly worse ~ and through little choice of their own ~ than wherever my son might put himself because of his drug use and poor choices.
It isn't much hearthope, but it helped me some.
The other thing I would tell you is to watch out for those times when you criticize yourself because you have not been able to make everything magically better.
There are no easy answers or sudden solutions to the problems our kids are creating for themselves. We learned to create plans and backup plans and more backup plans.
And then, we had to learn to forgive ourselves when we did not stick to our own plan for how we were going to change everything.
What will help the most now I think is for you to do some little something for yourself. It doesn't have to be much of anything at all. Something that will send a message to your innermost self that you matter, too. Anything. A fudgesicle, a scented candle, taking a camera with you next time you go somewhere and snapping a few pictures ~ anything at all that is strictly for you to enjoy.
(HA! I was just thinking about something I used to do: I would buy a box of fudgesicles, turn the heat up all the way in the car, and eat the whole box of them on the way home! Now THAT is self care!!!
:rofl:)
You will be surprised how strong and clear just that one simple gift to yourself will make you feel, and how much strength it brings you.
Wishing well, hearthope.
Barbara
