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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 472199" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>Hi, my son has reactive attachment disorder, milder but still hard sometimes ...insecure attachment but definately resists bonding...a push pull kind of thing. We have done specific Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) therapy and I have fired therapists who say they can do it but then try to see us separately. Do you have any books like Adopting the Hurt child, Or maybe adopting the older child??? I will check sometime this week to see if I can find them to give you the right titles of the ones people (and I) like the best... there are several I read even before I adopted so was super ready to find therapists who could handle it. One form of therapy is called Theraplay...it is NOT Play therapy. It is specifically designed to move thru steps using video taping and activities that you do together to build attachment. I have to tell you we made great progress and my son does genuinely hug me and tell me he loves me....sometimes. When he does not get his way he does go back to the push away stuff. He is still really mistrustful of others. He will still hug people who dont know him well (but he is also very developmentally delayed and autistic and has a brain injury so....lots of issues) he is quite aggressive and has been mean to our animals though no torture. He is afraid of fire and is not obsessed with it (hates birthday candles even) but does have the weird obsession with when people died...always wants to know how old people are and if they died. Will say shocking things for the effect. </p><p></p><p>Here is a link to a really good treatment center in our state and maybe they can direct you (or even their website can) to appropriate places. Read books on Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) because they have warning signs to look for for well intentioned therapists who can do more harm than good if they can be charmed and fooled by your difficult child. There are many success stories for kids with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and it is a spectrum so at his young age I would hesitate to give up, though at some point you may have to accept you have done your best. Some kids with Attachment Disorder actually do better in a residential setting and even have great lives when they dont have the pressure of having to bond with someone. </p><p></p><p><a href="http://www.familyattachment.com/" target="_blank">Family Attachment and Counseling Center</a></p><p></p><p>I am tired right now, so will check in with you again soon, hope you keep in touch. I am certainly no expert but I have been on boards with many people who are raising kids diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and they are not all psychopaths. I think one great site is <a href="http://groups.yahoo.com/group/attach-china/" target="_blank">attach-china : Attachment & trauma in adoption</a> </p><p></p><p>(I haven't been there for a while but look for that, they welcome anyone with attachment challenges but it was started by two moms with kids from china because people like to say that there are no kids iwth attachment disorders from China....they dont want the government to close adoptions. But of course we are all human and any break in attachment hurts and add being in a poor crowded orphanage, of course there are Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) kids from China too. They refuse to accept the diagnosis at all. Say kids are too young to "remember"....they dont believe how kids develop bonding and trust and that is starts between pregnancy to age three ish. Very sad.</p><p></p><p>They have a companion site and the link is on the above page.....its for those who want to know more about Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) but the site above is for those actually going thru it and it covers everything even Special Education, IEP's, 504 plans etc. 9 years or so ago I remember suggesting to one of the original moms to check out a 504 plan and it was a small list then... now it is huge! Really professional and helpful. (my son is adopted from USA and I was welcomed no problem) Hope it hasn't changed, it was really good.</p><p></p><p>my best, Buddy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 472199, member: 12886"] Hi, my son has reactive attachment disorder, milder but still hard sometimes ...insecure attachment but definately resists bonding...a push pull kind of thing. We have done specific Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) therapy and I have fired therapists who say they can do it but then try to see us separately. Do you have any books like Adopting the Hurt child, Or maybe adopting the older child??? I will check sometime this week to see if I can find them to give you the right titles of the ones people (and I) like the best... there are several I read even before I adopted so was super ready to find therapists who could handle it. One form of therapy is called Theraplay...it is NOT Play therapy. It is specifically designed to move thru steps using video taping and activities that you do together to build attachment. I have to tell you we made great progress and my son does genuinely hug me and tell me he loves me....sometimes. When he does not get his way he does go back to the push away stuff. He is still really mistrustful of others. He will still hug people who dont know him well (but he is also very developmentally delayed and autistic and has a brain injury so....lots of issues) he is quite aggressive and has been mean to our animals though no torture. He is afraid of fire and is not obsessed with it (hates birthday candles even) but does have the weird obsession with when people died...always wants to know how old people are and if they died. Will say shocking things for the effect. Here is a link to a really good treatment center in our state and maybe they can direct you (or even their website can) to appropriate places. Read books on Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) because they have warning signs to look for for well intentioned therapists who can do more harm than good if they can be charmed and fooled by your difficult child. There are many success stories for kids with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and it is a spectrum so at his young age I would hesitate to give up, though at some point you may have to accept you have done your best. Some kids with Attachment Disorder actually do better in a residential setting and even have great lives when they dont have the pressure of having to bond with someone. [URL="http://www.familyattachment.com/"]Family Attachment and Counseling Center[/URL] I am tired right now, so will check in with you again soon, hope you keep in touch. I am certainly no expert but I have been on boards with many people who are raising kids diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and they are not all psychopaths. I think one great site is [URL="http://groups.yahoo.com/group/attach-china/"]attach-china : Attachment & trauma in adoption[/URL] (I haven't been there for a while but look for that, they welcome anyone with attachment challenges but it was started by two moms with kids from china because people like to say that there are no kids iwth attachment disorders from China....they dont want the government to close adoptions. But of course we are all human and any break in attachment hurts and add being in a poor crowded orphanage, of course there are Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) kids from China too. They refuse to accept the diagnosis at all. Say kids are too young to "remember"....they dont believe how kids develop bonding and trust and that is starts between pregnancy to age three ish. Very sad. They have a companion site and the link is on the above page.....its for those who want to know more about Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) but the site above is for those actually going thru it and it covers everything even Special Education, IEP's, 504 plans etc. 9 years or so ago I remember suggesting to one of the original moms to check out a 504 plan and it was a small list then... now it is huge! Really professional and helpful. (my son is adopted from USA and I was welcomed no problem) Hope it hasn't changed, it was really good. my best, Buddy [/QUOTE]
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