I am so sorry you are going through this. My son started at that age too and it was almost ten years before he turned it around and I thought he would die before he did. He turned into someone I did not know or want to know or want to be around no matter how much love I had for him.
It's hard when they are minors because there isn't a lot you can do. The "system" works very slowly, that's for sure.
He is clearly out of control and I get exactly how you feel because my son did it and I am married to his dad and he was as clueless as I was as to what to do.
This is not a quick fix, that much I can tell you without any hesitation.
Finding this site is a great start because there is a lot of experience and knowledge here, and NO judgement because most of us have been through it and WORSE.
The thing that comes to thought for me at first is for YOU to go talk to a therapist that specializes in addiction. That is what I did and it helped me. They will help you to establish some firm boundaries for your son and consequences. That is the very first step I think. He isn't going to change (anytime soon) so YOU have to change. This is a very hard and long road and I am so sorry that you find yourself on it.
Also if you pray I would start praying for yourself and your son because that is the main way that I got through it. More will be along to offer their advice.
Stay strong and KNOW you are NOT ALONE.
