Hi Beth, there is definitely no judgment here! We are all in the same boat to varying degrees and understand better than anyone, the pain of what it’s like to have a child who is out of control.
I’m not sure if you live in the states, but when my son was punching holes in walls and doors, the police in my city told me to report it, not just live with it. By reporting it and other out of control behaviors (jumping out of windows to run away, etc.) he got placed into the juvenile system, which at least establishes a record of their behavior, places them in temporary custody if they become too out of control, and often provides resources to help during this period where you are still responsible for your minor child. The record is strictly a juvenile one—it does not follow them into adulthood. My son spent a few nights at juvie on more than one occasion. Not fun!
I realize every state is different, and some don’t have the same resources, but I would check into the juvenile system and see if they can help you. And whatever you do—DO NOT accept any abusive behavior from him as far as threats, putting his hands on you or destroying property. Call the police.
I’m sure there will be others to respond here as well who have experience in this area. please keep us posted and know that we care very much.
