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General Parenting
Helping vs Enabling - Now what?
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<blockquote data-quote="stressbunny" data-source="post: 612764"><p>Recovering, what a challenging road you've traveled. I'm sorry for the pain this has surely caused you.</p><p></p><p>I confess my feelings of hopelessness. Every opportunity JT has had this past year, he has ruined. Now I worry he will lose this job and he'll be out of money again and homeless. To top it all off his attitude stinks. He has defied everything we've ever raised him to be - everything. </p><p></p><p>The resentment I feel comes from the fact that we have already bailed him out so many times and told him no more money. husband says he's a jerk and proud of it too.</p><p></p><p>I want JT to succeed but I am so done with the ridiculous lack of responsibility on his part.</p><p></p><p>I am so disappointed in him and hurt by his behavior. My husband can't stand him right now. Since he's been a rebellious know-it-all his whole life, I don't think he'll ever change.</p><p></p><p>As an example, even though JT has flunked every semester of college, been fired from two jobs, been dumped by three girlfriends, kicked out of various living situations, and has creditors after him, he still told me today that he knew he would get the job. He also told the manager he thought he deserved higher pay than another guy he knows who works there because JT "trained" this guy in high school, so his skills are obviously superior.</p><p></p><p>Seriously! I hate that about him. He really believes he is superior to everybody, including us, of course.</p><p></p><p>We helped him manage his responsibilities in high school, but since he's been on his own, it's been a disaster.</p><p></p><p>We tell him when he's bragging, but he doesn't get it. Not at all. Because of this, he may well have trouble holding this job or any job because he can't take direction.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="stressbunny, post: 612764"] Recovering, what a challenging road you've traveled. I'm sorry for the pain this has surely caused you. I confess my feelings of hopelessness. Every opportunity JT has had this past year, he has ruined. Now I worry he will lose this job and he'll be out of money again and homeless. To top it all off his attitude stinks. He has defied everything we've ever raised him to be - everything. The resentment I feel comes from the fact that we have already bailed him out so many times and told him no more money. husband says he's a jerk and proud of it too. I want JT to succeed but I am so done with the ridiculous lack of responsibility on his part. I am so disappointed in him and hurt by his behavior. My husband can't stand him right now. Since he's been a rebellious know-it-all his whole life, I don't think he'll ever change. As an example, even though JT has flunked every semester of college, been fired from two jobs, been dumped by three girlfriends, kicked out of various living situations, and has creditors after him, he still told me today that he knew he would get the job. He also told the manager he thought he deserved higher pay than another guy he knows who works there because JT "trained" this guy in high school, so his skills are obviously superior. Seriously! I hate that about him. He really believes he is superior to everybody, including us, of course. We helped him manage his responsibilities in high school, but since he's been on his own, it's been a disaster. We tell him when he's bragging, but he doesn't get it. Not at all. Because of this, he may well have trouble holding this job or any job because he can't take direction. [/QUOTE]
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