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<blockquote data-quote="lostinsc" data-source="post: 453770" data-attributes="member: 12646"><p>Thanks so much for the insight as to there is hope, as long as we stick with the therapy and everything else we are trying.</p><p></p><p>Let me start by giving a little bit of background info, maybe that will help with kind of understand where my husband and I and also my son's mother stand. When my husband and I got back together, before we were married, our son was 2 1/2. His mother and maternal grandmother suffer from bi-polar. Though the grandmother takes medications for hers, his mother does not and refuses to admit that she is bi-polar. We struggle with her all the time. She is unstable and can barely take care of herself, more or less our son. We have provided everything for him, from day 1. It started off that we had shared custody of him, meaning she had him one week and then we would have him the next. His mother keep saying that he needed to be with her and we needed to start our own family and leave them alone. Of course, that was never going to happen. Well as we started to notice his change in behavior my husband thought maybe she was right, maybe he did need to spend more time with his mother. I fought that that was the wrong choice, but in the end he ended up with her full time and coming to us every other weekend and every Thursday. To make a really long story short, she has gone back and forth as far as he needs to be with us full time, since we have the stable home and financially and emotionally stablity he needed. About 4 months ago she came back and said that she was finally on her feet and was wanting her son back with her, of course my husband allowed for her to take full custody again. But we were still paying for everything and still to this day. About 6 weeks ago she called us up and stated that she no longer could handle him and we needed to take him, once again, full time. I was wary about doing so, as she has no desire to meet with me and set up a common ground for ua all to stand on when it comes to our son. She calls and will yell at my husband and tell him that he is a crappy father (that is me being nice when I put it that way) and that he needs to just sign over his rights and let her take care of him. We had him in a behaviorial therapy and she took him out, stating her child has no problems and we are just picking on him. But then will call back and say that she made a mistake and there is some kinda problem going on. We have talked to a couple of therapist and they have said that it is just a behaviorial issue. But the last doctor we went to (which I am not sure who is it or where they work, as I could not attend that meeting) stated that they thought he suffers from ODD. After doing some research on it, I definitely think that is the right diagnosis for now, as he shows all the symptoms. </p><p></p><p>I worry not only for his safety but for the rest of our household and other people. He is pysically violent and can be just down right mean for no reason. I need to not only save my sanity but my husband's also. We fear that the problem is only going to get worse. </p><p></p><p>Thanks for the advise as far as the book The Explosive Child. I will definitely be getting my husband and I a copy.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="lostinsc, post: 453770, member: 12646"] Thanks so much for the insight as to there is hope, as long as we stick with the therapy and everything else we are trying. Let me start by giving a little bit of background info, maybe that will help with kind of understand where my husband and I and also my son's mother stand. When my husband and I got back together, before we were married, our son was 2 1/2. His mother and maternal grandmother suffer from bi-polar. Though the grandmother takes medications for hers, his mother does not and refuses to admit that she is bi-polar. We struggle with her all the time. She is unstable and can barely take care of herself, more or less our son. We have provided everything for him, from day 1. It started off that we had shared custody of him, meaning she had him one week and then we would have him the next. His mother keep saying that he needed to be with her and we needed to start our own family and leave them alone. Of course, that was never going to happen. Well as we started to notice his change in behavior my husband thought maybe she was right, maybe he did need to spend more time with his mother. I fought that that was the wrong choice, but in the end he ended up with her full time and coming to us every other weekend and every Thursday. To make a really long story short, she has gone back and forth as far as he needs to be with us full time, since we have the stable home and financially and emotionally stablity he needed. About 4 months ago she came back and said that she was finally on her feet and was wanting her son back with her, of course my husband allowed for her to take full custody again. But we were still paying for everything and still to this day. About 6 weeks ago she called us up and stated that she no longer could handle him and we needed to take him, once again, full time. I was wary about doing so, as she has no desire to meet with me and set up a common ground for ua all to stand on when it comes to our son. She calls and will yell at my husband and tell him that he is a crappy father (that is me being nice when I put it that way) and that he needs to just sign over his rights and let her take care of him. We had him in a behaviorial therapy and she took him out, stating her child has no problems and we are just picking on him. But then will call back and say that she made a mistake and there is some kinda problem going on. We have talked to a couple of therapist and they have said that it is just a behaviorial issue. But the last doctor we went to (which I am not sure who is it or where they work, as I could not attend that meeting) stated that they thought he suffers from ODD. After doing some research on it, I definitely think that is the right diagnosis for now, as he shows all the symptoms. I worry not only for his safety but for the rest of our household and other people. He is pysically violent and can be just down right mean for no reason. I need to not only save my sanity but my husband's also. We fear that the problem is only going to get worse. Thanks for the advise as far as the book The Explosive Child. I will definitely be getting my husband and I a copy. [/QUOTE]
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