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Here is my letter to Scott. Did I act too needy?
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<blockquote data-quote="Anna1345" data-source="post: 99201" data-attributes="member: 4292"><p>I don't want to cause any upset on your part, but you asked for honest opinions and I will give mine. I decided to read this from the view of a grown child as if it were coming from my mother vs. as a parent to a difficult child (keep in mind I had a wonderful upbringing and I STILL choose to do my own thing. Mom and I have since come full circle and are best of friends now). </p><p></p><p>If I had read this letter, I would be appalled. My initial reaction is that you knew from day one that I was not meant to be with you, you didn't pick me, I was thrown on you and you resent me for it. Because of this, you really can't love me even though you say you do. I also read that "I was right and you DID make me the parent when you should have been and you just admitted it." I wouldn't care that you are admitting all these deficiencies now, it is not my problem, I was the kid, you were the adult. </p><p></p><p>Okay, now reading it from the perspective of another parent.... I am not sure I would have gone into too much details as to how you have always felt inferior to him. I think doing that undermines you and shows him that you feel weak and you know you are weak and that you have no value (which is obviously not true based on the other children you have raised). I would not have apologized for the gift thing. That is ridiculous! How can he possibly expect a gift after treating you and your family that way? He can't just treat you that way because you are family! In fact he should be saying to himself "I should NEVER treat them that way BECAUSE they are family" Not with the attitude that "well they are family, they will understand"</p><p></p><p>Okay that is my 2 cents.... Hang in there! You are stronger than you know. Don't just live day to day, just getting through. Make each day a moment and remember it. You still have other children that love and adore you! Give them that love and adoration back! </p><p></p><p>{{{HUGS}}}</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Anna1345, post: 99201, member: 4292"] I don't want to cause any upset on your part, but you asked for honest opinions and I will give mine. I decided to read this from the view of a grown child as if it were coming from my mother vs. as a parent to a difficult child (keep in mind I had a wonderful upbringing and I STILL choose to do my own thing. Mom and I have since come full circle and are best of friends now). If I had read this letter, I would be appalled. My initial reaction is that you knew from day one that I was not meant to be with you, you didn't pick me, I was thrown on you and you resent me for it. Because of this, you really can't love me even though you say you do. I also read that "I was right and you DID make me the parent when you should have been and you just admitted it." I wouldn't care that you are admitting all these deficiencies now, it is not my problem, I was the kid, you were the adult. Okay, now reading it from the perspective of another parent.... I am not sure I would have gone into too much details as to how you have always felt inferior to him. I think doing that undermines you and shows him that you feel weak and you know you are weak and that you have no value (which is obviously not true based on the other children you have raised). I would not have apologized for the gift thing. That is ridiculous! How can he possibly expect a gift after treating you and your family that way? He can't just treat you that way because you are family! In fact he should be saying to himself "I should NEVER treat them that way BECAUSE they are family" Not with the attitude that "well they are family, they will understand" Okay that is my 2 cents.... Hang in there! You are stronger than you know. Don't just live day to day, just getting through. Make each day a moment and remember it. You still have other children that love and adore you! Give them that love and adoration back! {{{HUGS}}} [/QUOTE]
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Here is my letter to Scott. Did I act too needy?
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