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Parent Emeritus
Here is my letter to Scott. Did I act too needy?
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<blockquote data-quote="WhymeMom?" data-source="post: 99266" data-attributes="member: 53"><p>I do believe there are people in the world who can truly shut off feelings and not feel remorse or guilt that they may have hurt others. I think your son is one of these people. He lives in the moment and perhaps looks forward only, not back. I doubt you will receive any recognition for your letter. If he has children I really don't see him changing. The kids would probably be ten years old before he even bothered to tell you about them. It seems to be his personality and I don't really think it mattered who raised him. Also he had a childhood of seeing YOUR relationship with your mother (or lack thereof) and he views it as okay to not have a relationship with you. I AM NOT criticizing how you dealt with your mother, I know nothing of your family dynamics other than what you have written, but just wanted to point out what he saw as a child, living with you and your strained relationship with your mother, may have given him license (in his mind) to deal with you in the same way. Not saying this is right, but just saying what I see.</p><p></p><p>I personally think the letter may have helped you get things out in the open, but it will have little effect on him. Sadly, he doesn't think about you or his former family. He is living for now....and that doesn't include you. </p><p></p><p>I am not trying to be mean, but I think you will never have much of him in your life again. As difficult as that is I think it would be more difficult to go on believing there was something you did or could have done to change your relationship with him...not happening in your lifetime....He is gone, let them go...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WhymeMom?, post: 99266, member: 53"] I do believe there are people in the world who can truly shut off feelings and not feel remorse or guilt that they may have hurt others. I think your son is one of these people. He lives in the moment and perhaps looks forward only, not back. I doubt you will receive any recognition for your letter. If he has children I really don't see him changing. The kids would probably be ten years old before he even bothered to tell you about them. It seems to be his personality and I don't really think it mattered who raised him. Also he had a childhood of seeing YOUR relationship with your mother (or lack thereof) and he views it as okay to not have a relationship with you. I AM NOT criticizing how you dealt with your mother, I know nothing of your family dynamics other than what you have written, but just wanted to point out what he saw as a child, living with you and your strained relationship with your mother, may have given him license (in his mind) to deal with you in the same way. Not saying this is right, but just saying what I see. I personally think the letter may have helped you get things out in the open, but it will have little effect on him. Sadly, he doesn't think about you or his former family. He is living for now....and that doesn't include you. I am not trying to be mean, but I think you will never have much of him in your life again. As difficult as that is I think it would be more difficult to go on believing there was something you did or could have done to change your relationship with him...not happening in your lifetime....He is gone, let them go... [/QUOTE]
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Here is my letter to Scott. Did I act too needy?
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