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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 227448" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>Have you considered filing a CHINS/PINS petition? It may be too late given that he's almost 18 but it is one way to get some services.</p><p> </p><p>So, how is he paying for the broken cellar door? If he has no money, I assume he has things. I used to have some garage sales. The only items sold were my daughter's things. The minute I had made enough to pay for whatever was damaged, the garage sale shut down. It took a few sales but she did quit breaking things when she couldn't have her way.</p><p> </p><p>There is something so lovely in this country that gives our kids a sense of way too much entitlement. I think we parents also fall into the trap. In Ameica, many of us aren't parents, we're friends to our kids. If we are the stricter parent, then our kids get to see that other kids get away with murder and decided they will, too. So, regardless of how we try to parent (friend type or parent type), our kids really do feel they can do whatever they want, especially as they get older.</p><p> </p><p>For my daughter, it took joining a carnival and being homeless a few days for her to figure out mom meant enough was enough. She's now working as a server, paying her bills the best she can and becoming more of a responsible adult every day. She's still a slob and lazy as all get out when not working but she doesn't get violent, doesn't steal, rarely lies. Tough love can work.</p><p> </p><p>The next time he is out past curfew, lock the doors and tell him you will call the police if he tries to break in. It will be up to them whether they arrest him but at least he'll see that you are keeping your word and mean business.</p><p> </p><p>You are obligated to provide shelter, food, clothing. You are not obligated to give him good stuff. You are not obligated to let him keep good stuff that he might sell for drugs and could for damage to your home. Since he refuses to follow the rules, I'd start playing by the rules to the letter of the law. That means nothing good. His clothes can come from Goodwill. Water is an acceptable drink. Hey, if our prison system can feed an inmate for $3.50 a day, surely you can do it for a little more and still give him nutrition. Vitamins can help in that department. If he has any electronics, they are now yours. I'm sure he owes you for more than just the cellar door. Heck, he doesn't even really need furniture in his room. A mattress on the floor is really okay. Sides, the less he has, the less he can hide.</p><p> </p><p>I hope you can find a way to rein him in. I know how hard this age is. They really do think they're almost adults and can act accordingly. It gets even worse when they're 18 because the law says they are adults. At that point, it really is a my house, my rules or get out and that is not an easy way to go.</p><p> </p><p>HUGS</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 227448, member: 3626"] Have you considered filing a CHINS/PINS petition? It may be too late given that he's almost 18 but it is one way to get some services. So, how is he paying for the broken cellar door? If he has no money, I assume he has things. I used to have some garage sales. The only items sold were my daughter's things. The minute I had made enough to pay for whatever was damaged, the garage sale shut down. It took a few sales but she did quit breaking things when she couldn't have her way. There is something so lovely in this country that gives our kids a sense of way too much entitlement. I think we parents also fall into the trap. In Ameica, many of us aren't parents, we're friends to our kids. If we are the stricter parent, then our kids get to see that other kids get away with murder and decided they will, too. So, regardless of how we try to parent (friend type or parent type), our kids really do feel they can do whatever they want, especially as they get older. For my daughter, it took joining a carnival and being homeless a few days for her to figure out mom meant enough was enough. She's now working as a server, paying her bills the best she can and becoming more of a responsible adult every day. She's still a slob and lazy as all get out when not working but she doesn't get violent, doesn't steal, rarely lies. Tough love can work. The next time he is out past curfew, lock the doors and tell him you will call the police if he tries to break in. It will be up to them whether they arrest him but at least he'll see that you are keeping your word and mean business. You are obligated to provide shelter, food, clothing. You are not obligated to give him good stuff. You are not obligated to let him keep good stuff that he might sell for drugs and could for damage to your home. Since he refuses to follow the rules, I'd start playing by the rules to the letter of the law. That means nothing good. His clothes can come from Goodwill. Water is an acceptable drink. Hey, if our prison system can feed an inmate for $3.50 a day, surely you can do it for a little more and still give him nutrition. Vitamins can help in that department. If he has any electronics, they are now yours. I'm sure he owes you for more than just the cellar door. Heck, he doesn't even really need furniture in his room. A mattress on the floor is really okay. Sides, the less he has, the less he can hide. I hope you can find a way to rein him in. I know how hard this age is. They really do think they're almost adults and can act accordingly. It gets even worse when they're 18 because the law says they are adults. At that point, it really is a my house, my rules or get out and that is not an easy way to go. HUGS [/QUOTE]
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