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Here we go again :(
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<blockquote data-quote="CrazyinVA" data-source="post: 595648" data-attributes="member: 1157"><p>Oh boy. Honestly, I think less is more when responding to messages like the last one, if you respond at all. You don't need to repeat yourself -- you made your point the first time. When a difficult child is in that kind of combative, blaming mode -- nothing you say will make much difference anyway. He can't hear/read it in the way it's intended. </p><p></p><p>It takes practice, but sometimes it's best to just ignore the nastiness and not reply at all. What I learned with my difficult children was that it's almost like behavior modification -- when they were nasty, I either didn't respond at all, or responded with, "let me know when you're ready to talk about this calmly." Period, end of sentence. When they were civil, I responded civilly -- and if it turned nasty after initial civility, I repeated the previous statement and ended the conversation. It took a long time (years, for Oldest), but eventually, they got it. Each time you are able to cut off the nastiness, it makes you feel a little bit stronger -- you're taking the power away from them, and keeping it squarely for yourself.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CrazyinVA, post: 595648, member: 1157"] Oh boy. Honestly, I think less is more when responding to messages like the last one, if you respond at all. You don't need to repeat yourself -- you made your point the first time. When a difficult child is in that kind of combative, blaming mode -- nothing you say will make much difference anyway. He can't hear/read it in the way it's intended. It takes practice, but sometimes it's best to just ignore the nastiness and not reply at all. What I learned with my difficult children was that it's almost like behavior modification -- when they were nasty, I either didn't respond at all, or responded with, "let me know when you're ready to talk about this calmly." Period, end of sentence. When they were civil, I responded civilly -- and if it turned nasty after initial civility, I repeated the previous statement and ended the conversation. It took a long time (years, for Oldest), but eventually, they got it. Each time you are able to cut off the nastiness, it makes you feel a little bit stronger -- you're taking the power away from them, and keeping it squarely for yourself. [/QUOTE]
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Here we go again :(
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