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<blockquote data-quote="Zardo" data-source="post: 596550" data-attributes="member: 12490"><p>Yup - relapse - and to think he has one month left of suspended sentence and then 9 months of probation after that. I don't get it.....when is enough enough? It's out of my hands now. At first he denied, but it was undenialble. I just kept telling him I won't listen to the lies - but when he ready to tell the truth, I love him and will be here for him. After about an hours and a half the truth (more like 1/2 truth) came out and he committed, again, to be "done". I think the use started gradually not long after he got home and was out of hand within a month. His friends contacted me this time telling me whats' going on - they took his money and gave it to me, told me not to give him acccess to money or a car for a while. So now, we wait for the results of this week's drug screen to see if he passes. He now uses mostly things that don't come up, so there is a good chance that will be ok. The decision is do we just let that be clear and get back on board or do we report this to probation and let them make a decision on what to do? He is complying with the consequences we have put in place. He will no longer have access to money or to use my car and he has stopped whining about AA, but he's still not embracing it. He also agreed to start individual counseling, but continues to refuse any medications, which I feel he needs. As for me and husband, we're not stressing about it - we have done all we can do - if he wants a #$*!$@ life, that's his problem. That may sound cold - but I know there's nothing I can do. He needs to figure out how to have a life, we're here to support him when he brings ideas to the table. I will offer suggestions, but I am also done forcing him to do things and then policing that - it doesn't help anyway. His behaviors at home have been GREATLY improved since rehab - so as long as he is living respectfully in our home he can stay, for now.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Zardo, post: 596550, member: 12490"] Yup - relapse - and to think he has one month left of suspended sentence and then 9 months of probation after that. I don't get it.....when is enough enough? It's out of my hands now. At first he denied, but it was undenialble. I just kept telling him I won't listen to the lies - but when he ready to tell the truth, I love him and will be here for him. After about an hours and a half the truth (more like 1/2 truth) came out and he committed, again, to be "done". I think the use started gradually not long after he got home and was out of hand within a month. His friends contacted me this time telling me whats' going on - they took his money and gave it to me, told me not to give him acccess to money or a car for a while. So now, we wait for the results of this week's drug screen to see if he passes. He now uses mostly things that don't come up, so there is a good chance that will be ok. The decision is do we just let that be clear and get back on board or do we report this to probation and let them make a decision on what to do? He is complying with the consequences we have put in place. He will no longer have access to money or to use my car and he has stopped whining about AA, but he's still not embracing it. He also agreed to start individual counseling, but continues to refuse any medications, which I feel he needs. As for me and husband, we're not stressing about it - we have done all we can do - if he wants a #$*!$@ life, that's his problem. That may sound cold - but I know there's nothing I can do. He needs to figure out how to have a life, we're here to support him when he brings ideas to the table. I will offer suggestions, but I am also done forcing him to do things and then policing that - it doesn't help anyway. His behaviors at home have been GREATLY improved since rehab - so as long as he is living respectfully in our home he can stay, for now. [/QUOTE]
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