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He's been kicked out of the shelter
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<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 643352" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p>Well, I don't think that was his plan, fwiw. I think he intended to make us feel sorry for him, no doubt. I really didn't mind having him grab some things and giving him a lift. He's still only a little more than 1/2 mile from work at the new house (which is very short term...they've told him they're being evicted) but the opposite direction from the shelter, so it's well over a mile each way and it's cold and he had lots of stuff, so I didn't mind giving a lift. He definitely needed somewhere safe to keep his stuff (clothes) while he's so transient. Heck, he said he had some of the thermal socks I bought stolen at the shelter. I certainly didn't mind giving him a blanket. In fact, I gave him a wool one that had been my moms. I used to carry it in my car in winter when I lived out of town. He seemed genuinely surprised that the id badge was not in his jacket pocket.</p><p> </p><p>The failure, however, comes from simply waiting for the last minute...there was no reason we couldn't have left sooner and then would not have had to rush!</p><p> </p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p>No. I had my suspicions when he was little and did some research...but he's never been severe enough to warrant any further evaluation. He saw a child psychiatrist for a short time when he was 3-4, but there was no diagnosis of anything that they pointed out to me.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p>Did I make an excuse? Nope. He's to blame. There is simply no reason to EVER be late to a job that starts at 9 p.m.! Set an alarm if you are planning on napping...or do your sleeping earlier! I'm sure there are people who'd like his job. It's a great second job for someone who works days and a good shift for anyone who wants to have a part-time also during days. It's not hard...he's emptying trash cans! Pay isn't much...but he's emptying trash cans! So yeah...if he gets fired, he won't be the first and he'll have to then try to find something else. Maybe he'll finally quit being so darn picky and go to one of the many, many fast food places in town.</p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p>Why would we have no choice? I don't LIKE the choice, but we have one. He can't try again to be a resident at the shelter for a year, but he can be homeless...truly homeless...and sleep on the street or cold-cot.</p><p> </p><p>Actually, we have a couple other choices...they keep running thru my head but I'm sure Jabber won't like them and really, it's not like I do. But, 1) we could let him come home on an extremely limited basis, say to March, and tell him by March 1 he either has an apt. or he's on the street. We're too far for him to walk to work (especially in this weather) but he could use the car and then we take the keys when we leave for work, thereby only allowing him to have access to the car on the nights he works. That gives him a chance to get some money together and an apartment found. Which he should have done between October 15 or so and now...which just ticks me off no end. Or, 2) we could simply pay the deposits and such on a cheap apartment - not all of it, he'd have to pay part.</p><p> </p><p>The unfortunate fact is, by my math, with the two holidays and the short hours he works (at the moment, the job isn't full-time but will be later when the government is in session) his paycheck will be $300 or less. This isn't good. The absolute cheapest apartment I have seen is about $260, plus utilities. So with application fees, deposit, first month's rent, he'd need about $600.00. Even a full two-week, 80 hour, paycheck would be too little. </p><p> </p><p>Feel free to chime in on this part. (Like I have to ask. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> lol)</p><p> </p><p>One thing he says that is true...he has few choices. It's his own fault...I get that...but he's got no friends willing to help him. He's got no money to speak of. That's his fault because the purpose of the shelter was to get a job and save up so he could get a place to live. He didn't do that. I get that it's his fault, but it being his fault doesn't change the facts. We've got no family close. It's the dead of winter and he works a graveyard shift. Cold-cotting is fine...but they'll kick him out at 8, meaning he'll get about 4 hours sleep at night. So...not many choices at all.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p>Uh, yeah. I see it. I think maybe not so much that he HAS me...as he hopes he has me. He definitely tries to manipulate. Always has. Seriously, if he really had me...he'd be home.</p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p>This is where I keep falling down on the housing issue. Yes, he's almost 20 and should be doing things on his own. In fact, he CAN do things on his own...kind of. That is to say, IF he had the money! But if you can't afford the deposits on an apartment and electric, how do you get an apartment? Sure, he can pay the rent on a cheap place, but how do you get one in the first place?</p><p> </p><p>Child of Mine...Your son was truly homeless and working. How did he manage to get a place to live? Although I think he had a car, didn't he? That would at least give you a place to sleep if it's not too cold. How did he bathe and get ready for work? How do you function like that?</p><p> </p><p>Feeling a little lost right now.<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/unsure.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":unsure:" title="unsure :unsure:" data-shortname=":unsure:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 643352, member: 17309"] Well, I don't think that was his plan, fwiw. I think he intended to make us feel sorry for him, no doubt. I really didn't mind having him grab some things and giving him a lift. He's still only a little more than 1/2 mile from work at the new house (which is very short term...they've told him they're being evicted) but the opposite direction from the shelter, so it's well over a mile each way and it's cold and he had lots of stuff, so I didn't mind giving a lift. He definitely needed somewhere safe to keep his stuff (clothes) while he's so transient. Heck, he said he had some of the thermal socks I bought stolen at the shelter. I certainly didn't mind giving him a blanket. In fact, I gave him a wool one that had been my moms. I used to carry it in my car in winter when I lived out of town. He seemed genuinely surprised that the id badge was not in his jacket pocket. The failure, however, comes from simply waiting for the last minute...there was no reason we couldn't have left sooner and then would not have had to rush! No. I had my suspicions when he was little and did some research...but he's never been severe enough to warrant any further evaluation. He saw a child psychiatrist for a short time when he was 3-4, but there was no diagnosis of anything that they pointed out to me. Did I make an excuse? Nope. He's to blame. There is simply no reason to EVER be late to a job that starts at 9 p.m.! Set an alarm if you are planning on napping...or do your sleeping earlier! I'm sure there are people who'd like his job. It's a great second job for someone who works days and a good shift for anyone who wants to have a part-time also during days. It's not hard...he's emptying trash cans! Pay isn't much...but he's emptying trash cans! So yeah...if he gets fired, he won't be the first and he'll have to then try to find something else. Maybe he'll finally quit being so darn picky and go to one of the many, many fast food places in town. Why would we have no choice? I don't LIKE the choice, but we have one. He can't try again to be a resident at the shelter for a year, but he can be homeless...truly homeless...and sleep on the street or cold-cot. Actually, we have a couple other choices...they keep running thru my head but I'm sure Jabber won't like them and really, it's not like I do. But, 1) we could let him come home on an extremely limited basis, say to March, and tell him by March 1 he either has an apt. or he's on the street. We're too far for him to walk to work (especially in this weather) but he could use the car and then we take the keys when we leave for work, thereby only allowing him to have access to the car on the nights he works. That gives him a chance to get some money together and an apartment found. Which he should have done between October 15 or so and now...which just ticks me off no end. Or, 2) we could simply pay the deposits and such on a cheap apartment - not all of it, he'd have to pay part. The unfortunate fact is, by my math, with the two holidays and the short hours he works (at the moment, the job isn't full-time but will be later when the government is in session) his paycheck will be $300 or less. This isn't good. The absolute cheapest apartment I have seen is about $260, plus utilities. So with application fees, deposit, first month's rent, he'd need about $600.00. Even a full two-week, 80 hour, paycheck would be too little. Feel free to chime in on this part. (Like I have to ask. ;) lol) One thing he says that is true...he has few choices. It's his own fault...I get that...but he's got no friends willing to help him. He's got no money to speak of. That's his fault because the purpose of the shelter was to get a job and save up so he could get a place to live. He didn't do that. I get that it's his fault, but it being his fault doesn't change the facts. We've got no family close. It's the dead of winter and he works a graveyard shift. Cold-cotting is fine...but they'll kick him out at 8, meaning he'll get about 4 hours sleep at night. So...not many choices at all. Uh, yeah. I see it. I think maybe not so much that he HAS me...as he hopes he has me. He definitely tries to manipulate. Always has. Seriously, if he really had me...he'd be home. This is where I keep falling down on the housing issue. Yes, he's almost 20 and should be doing things on his own. In fact, he CAN do things on his own...kind of. That is to say, IF he had the money! But if you can't afford the deposits on an apartment and electric, how do you get an apartment? Sure, he can pay the rent on a cheap place, but how do you get one in the first place? Child of Mine...Your son was truly homeless and working. How did he manage to get a place to live? Although I think he had a car, didn't he? That would at least give you a place to sleep if it's not too cold. How did he bathe and get ready for work? How do you function like that? Feeling a little lost right now.:unsure: [/QUOTE]
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