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Parent Emeritus
He's been kicked out of the shelter
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<blockquote data-quote="Albatross" data-source="post: 643450" data-attributes="member: 17720"><p>I think it is much easier to say "let difficult child figure it out" when it's someone else's difficult child. That's part of why I get so much out of this wonderful forum. I see myself and my difficult child in others...and it helps me to remember to follow my own advice.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>My thoughts are offered here not to offend, just to tell you how I see it from a more distant vantage point. </p><p></p><p>I think you are assuming that your son would even WANT to be on a lease. I don't think he is anywhere close to that point yet. I think right now he is still counting on "doing his time" and having things go back to the way they were with you and Jabber. </p><p></p><p>I also think you and Jabber need to agree on what message you want to send here. I think there is a huge and crucial difference between helping a difficult child who has shown signs of growth and change in the right direction and helping a difficult child who is going in the wrong direction. I think helping him out right now is rewarding bad behavior.</p><p></p><p>I also think that shelling out a few hundred to know he's warm at night might make you feel better right now, but the way I see it shaking out a month from now is nothing more than you paying for a month of a party pad for difficult child and J1.</p><p></p><p>Again, I don't mean any of this as an offense. These things are easier for me to say because it's not my difficult child. I do understand what a trapped position you are in right now.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Albatross, post: 643450, member: 17720"] I think it is much easier to say "let difficult child figure it out" when it's someone else's difficult child. That's part of why I get so much out of this wonderful forum. I see myself and my difficult child in others...and it helps me to remember to follow my own advice. My thoughts are offered here not to offend, just to tell you how I see it from a more distant vantage point. I think you are assuming that your son would even WANT to be on a lease. I don't think he is anywhere close to that point yet. I think right now he is still counting on "doing his time" and having things go back to the way they were with you and Jabber. I also think you and Jabber need to agree on what message you want to send here. I think there is a huge and crucial difference between helping a difficult child who has shown signs of growth and change in the right direction and helping a difficult child who is going in the wrong direction. I think helping him out right now is rewarding bad behavior. I also think that shelling out a few hundred to know he's warm at night might make you feel better right now, but the way I see it shaking out a month from now is nothing more than you paying for a month of a party pad for difficult child and J1. Again, I don't mean any of this as an offense. These things are easier for me to say because it's not my difficult child. I do understand what a trapped position you are in right now. [/QUOTE]
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He's been kicked out of the shelter
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