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He's been kicked out of the shelter
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<blockquote data-quote="GuideMe" data-source="post: 644124" data-attributes="member: 18233"><p>Just to go back to the enabling part and this is for myself as much as it is for you Lil. Maybe we can compromise with our enabling and wanting to helicopter parent them. Maybe we should start off in baby steps. I am going to do this for myself actually no matter what. Maybe, just maybe, we don't over parent them, don't worry if they got everything in order and let them fall, BUT....when they fall, they will come to us for help (for sure our phones will be ringing) and maybe we can help them in a HEALTHY way and that will scratch our itch to want to jump in every time to save them. The most important thing in this scenario is to know what kind of help to give when they come to us. That art will have to be prepared, practiced and perfected by the time difficult child comes to us for rescue. The kind of help that I am thinking of is guiding them and offering a helping hand, but not too much. The ultimate goal is to one day, stop rescuing them from their own bad decisions but teaching them in the process not to make them. Maybe this will be a good temporary solution with futuristic goal in mind.</p><p></p><p>Man, I don't know if this made sense. But I tried! LOL.</p><p></p><p>One thing that sticks out in my head that I read on this forum is "If we are more upset about a situation that difficult child is in than he/she is, than that' a clear sign we need to retreat" Was retreat the word? I can't remember. But it went something like that.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="GuideMe, post: 644124, member: 18233"] Just to go back to the enabling part and this is for myself as much as it is for you Lil. Maybe we can compromise with our enabling and wanting to helicopter parent them. Maybe we should start off in baby steps. I am going to do this for myself actually no matter what. Maybe, just maybe, we don't over parent them, don't worry if they got everything in order and let them fall, BUT....when they fall, they will come to us for help (for sure our phones will be ringing) and maybe we can help them in a HEALTHY way and that will scratch our itch to want to jump in every time to save them. The most important thing in this scenario is to know what kind of help to give when they come to us. That art will have to be prepared, practiced and perfected by the time difficult child comes to us for rescue. The kind of help that I am thinking of is guiding them and offering a helping hand, but not too much. The ultimate goal is to one day, stop rescuing them from their own bad decisions but teaching them in the process not to make them. Maybe this will be a good temporary solution with futuristic goal in mind. Man, I don't know if this made sense. But I tried! LOL. One thing that sticks out in my head that I read on this forum is "If we are more upset about a situation that difficult child is in than he/she is, than that' a clear sign we need to retreat" Was retreat the word? I can't remember. But it went something like that. [/QUOTE]
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He's been kicked out of the shelter
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