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He's living in the basement
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 647588" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>When back and forth and drama and manipulation and pressure are at an all time high...you need support. Your husband, boundaries you identify ahead of time like: my phone will be off every day between 2 and 4 pm, space and distance, a script for when you do talk to him. I used to type up a list of responses that read like this: oh really. That sounds good (interesting, challenging, hard etc). I'm sorry. I love you. I'm sure you will figure it out. I'm sorry honey someone is at th door. I would whip this out as my heart was pounding when his name would flash up on the screen and every good thought I ever had about how i was going to handle myself this time would fly out of my head.</p><p></p><p>This is the work toward detachment with love. </p><p></p><p>If we could figure it all out for them and make their path smooth, we would. But the hard truth is we can't. </p><p></p><p>Like MWM said there is so much food for homeless people so let that one go.</p><p></p><p>Believe me---I had to find out for myself but when I did I learned my son could have three meals every weekday and two on the weekend. Let that one go. </p><p></p><p>Try to turn the bright light of focus onto yourself IAd. Make it a daily practice and little by little it will become a habit. And then there will be more and more peace. Warm hugs. We care.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 647588, member: 17542"] When back and forth and drama and manipulation and pressure are at an all time high...you need support. Your husband, boundaries you identify ahead of time like: my phone will be off every day between 2 and 4 pm, space and distance, a script for when you do talk to him. I used to type up a list of responses that read like this: oh really. That sounds good (interesting, challenging, hard etc). I'm sorry. I love you. I'm sure you will figure it out. I'm sorry honey someone is at th door. I would whip this out as my heart was pounding when his name would flash up on the screen and every good thought I ever had about how i was going to handle myself this time would fly out of my head. This is the work toward detachment with love. If we could figure it all out for them and make their path smooth, we would. But the hard truth is we can't. Like MWM said there is so much food for homeless people so let that one go. Believe me---I had to find out for myself but when I did I learned my son could have three meals every weekday and two on the weekend. Let that one go. Try to turn the bright light of focus onto yourself IAd. Make it a daily practice and little by little it will become a habit. And then there will be more and more peace. Warm hugs. We care. [/QUOTE]
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