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Substance Abuse
He's on his way home---some questions
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 64354" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>In my experience with my daughter, CM, keeping busy was the main way she stayed out of trouble. She was living with her brother in a new state and, at first, had no friends. She had no car. She'd cracked up two cars already. Her brother wasn't about to let her use his expensive cars. She had to find jobs where she could walk to and from work and she started out at a Subway, in spite of the face that she had a license as a Beautician. She had to wait until her license transferred from Wisconsin to Illinois. Her brother let her know that if she broke any rules, she was out of the house, and she believed him because he was tougher on her than we were. Like you, we wanted to cut her slack until it got so out of control we couldn't live with her anymore--a bad place to be. When you stop using drugs or drinking, you literally have to change all your friends. That's hard even for a thirty-five year old, but for an eighteen year old, it's brutal. I don't believe my daughter could have hung with her old friends and stayed sober while they didn't. She was a kid who wanted to fit in and gave in to peer pressure. I know you can't send your son to a relative, but I do feel it's imperative that you monitor everything he does and everywhere he goes. He needs it--you are being kind to him if you do that. He has not yet learned how to buck peer pressure and, as his folks, it's compassionate of you to help him by setting limits on him that some, more mature eighteen year olds just don't have. I'd hate for you to ever have to tell your son to leave your house. It broke our hearts, even though her brother stepped in and at least gave her a place to stay, as long as she obeyed his house rules. I want your son to succeed and if that means making yourself not-so-popular with him for now, hey, he'll thank you in the long run. My daughter spewed how she'd hate us forever when we made her leave. But we're very close now. She is a completely different person. I am so praying for your son--you seem like such a loving parent.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 64354, member: 1550"] In my experience with my daughter, CM, keeping busy was the main way she stayed out of trouble. She was living with her brother in a new state and, at first, had no friends. She had no car. She'd cracked up two cars already. Her brother wasn't about to let her use his expensive cars. She had to find jobs where she could walk to and from work and she started out at a Subway, in spite of the face that she had a license as a Beautician. She had to wait until her license transferred from Wisconsin to Illinois. Her brother let her know that if she broke any rules, she was out of the house, and she believed him because he was tougher on her than we were. Like you, we wanted to cut her slack until it got so out of control we couldn't live with her anymore--a bad place to be. When you stop using drugs or drinking, you literally have to change all your friends. That's hard even for a thirty-five year old, but for an eighteen year old, it's brutal. I don't believe my daughter could have hung with her old friends and stayed sober while they didn't. She was a kid who wanted to fit in and gave in to peer pressure. I know you can't send your son to a relative, but I do feel it's imperative that you monitor everything he does and everywhere he goes. He needs it--you are being kind to him if you do that. He has not yet learned how to buck peer pressure and, as his folks, it's compassionate of you to help him by setting limits on him that some, more mature eighteen year olds just don't have. I'd hate for you to ever have to tell your son to leave your house. It broke our hearts, even though her brother stepped in and at least gave her a place to stay, as long as she obeyed his house rules. I want your son to succeed and if that means making yourself not-so-popular with him for now, hey, he'll thank you in the long run. My daughter spewed how she'd hate us forever when we made her leave. But we're very close now. She is a completely different person. I am so praying for your son--you seem like such a loving parent. [/QUOTE]
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He's on his way home---some questions
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