Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Hey everybody, I'm told my difficult child is safe and stable, home tomorrow?!?!?!
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 382606" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>You CAN refuse to pick him up. Or insist that he be charged with assault, though the police may or may not keep him. IF/when he is violent again you can call 911 and have the cops come. Even if he is calm when they arrive you can refuse to take him home/allow him to stay. I did this because Wiz insisted on beating me when he didn't like what I said/did/asked him to do. Wiz was warned. He was told that if he made any further moves to harm me, or to get past me and harm one of the other kids, or to harm one of the other kids, I would call the sheriff (we are in the boonies here) and insist that they take him. It was less than 24hrs later that he had to do it. The deputy tried HARD to talk me into letting him stay. husband came home before they were leaving and they tried to talk him into over-riding me. (husband told them that they would BOTH be kicked out if he did that, and he wouldn't anyway because not even his son is allowed to hit his wife. They were SHOCKED at that attitude)</p><p> </p><p>Even though the assault was days ago, you can still do this when difficult child arrives home. In your case, with little ones, I would NOT let him return to your home. Not now at least. If you go the route we went, they will likely take him to a county shelter - Wiz LOVED the one here - and you will go to court the next day or the one after. Then you will tell the judge that he tried to kill your husband and you cannot safely allow him to return home. You got him emergency psychiatric care, you are trying to arrange Residential Treatment Center (RTC) care, but it isn't in place yet and he is not safe to have at home. They will likely keep difficult child where he is pending a court date in 2 weeks or so (this may happen a few times = we found a placement for Wiz before the 3rd court date so they just acted like it had never happened after I called the judge's office to tell them that we had a placement.)</p><p> </p><p>IF you and husband decide to allow him to come home, you MUST have a WRITTEN SAFETY PLAN, including who goes where and does what. This plan must include provisions to keep everyone safe at night (I recommend some cheap alarms from walmart or radio shack for the short term).</p><p> </p><p>Most of all, I understand how you are feeling. In our case, the psychiatric hospital was more a vacation place for Wiz than anything. The short term psychiatric hospital, that is. Getting the other psychiatric hospital to keep him for 4 months was a LOT of work. To see the psychiatrist I had to go there for meetings that started between 6 and 7 pm, whenever the psychiatrist got there. He stopped doing the 6 am time when he found me waiting there at quarter to 6 - that time was designed to keep me from taking part in the meeting, at least that is what he so ungraciously said. He REALLY did NOT NOT NOT want anything to do with parents, esp one who took notes and asked him about it when he contradicted himself meeting after meeting. Tee Hee, his loss. He still had to deal with me and my notes and questions - ALL of which were super polite so he couldn't be upset about them, could he? </p><p> </p><p>Is it possible they will do family therapy before they dismiss him? Is is possible for you to go and ask him things that will upset him? Wiz would have been home after a month or so except I went into a therapys session and triggered him by pushing ALL of his buttons. I wasn't mean or rude, but I didn't need to be. I just asked him questions and insisted on answers. He blew. If you can accomplish this, it would let them see what needs to be treated, rather than the Disneyland side of your son that never comes home. It isn't a fun thing to do, and I felt horrible, like a total wicked witch and awful mother. BUt it was what my son NEEDED, that time in the psychiatric hospital, and it got him the treatment he needed so badly.</p><p> </p><p>Whatever happens, I hope things go well and you can get a placement for him soon.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 382606, member: 1233"] You CAN refuse to pick him up. Or insist that he be charged with assault, though the police may or may not keep him. IF/when he is violent again you can call 911 and have the cops come. Even if he is calm when they arrive you can refuse to take him home/allow him to stay. I did this because Wiz insisted on beating me when he didn't like what I said/did/asked him to do. Wiz was warned. He was told that if he made any further moves to harm me, or to get past me and harm one of the other kids, or to harm one of the other kids, I would call the sheriff (we are in the boonies here) and insist that they take him. It was less than 24hrs later that he had to do it. The deputy tried HARD to talk me into letting him stay. husband came home before they were leaving and they tried to talk him into over-riding me. (husband told them that they would BOTH be kicked out if he did that, and he wouldn't anyway because not even his son is allowed to hit his wife. They were SHOCKED at that attitude) Even though the assault was days ago, you can still do this when difficult child arrives home. In your case, with little ones, I would NOT let him return to your home. Not now at least. If you go the route we went, they will likely take him to a county shelter - Wiz LOVED the one here - and you will go to court the next day or the one after. Then you will tell the judge that he tried to kill your husband and you cannot safely allow him to return home. You got him emergency psychiatric care, you are trying to arrange Residential Treatment Center (RTC) care, but it isn't in place yet and he is not safe to have at home. They will likely keep difficult child where he is pending a court date in 2 weeks or so (this may happen a few times = we found a placement for Wiz before the 3rd court date so they just acted like it had never happened after I called the judge's office to tell them that we had a placement.) IF you and husband decide to allow him to come home, you MUST have a WRITTEN SAFETY PLAN, including who goes where and does what. This plan must include provisions to keep everyone safe at night (I recommend some cheap alarms from walmart or radio shack for the short term). Most of all, I understand how you are feeling. In our case, the psychiatric hospital was more a vacation place for Wiz than anything. The short term psychiatric hospital, that is. Getting the other psychiatric hospital to keep him for 4 months was a LOT of work. To see the psychiatrist I had to go there for meetings that started between 6 and 7 pm, whenever the psychiatrist got there. He stopped doing the 6 am time when he found me waiting there at quarter to 6 - that time was designed to keep me from taking part in the meeting, at least that is what he so ungraciously said. He REALLY did NOT NOT NOT want anything to do with parents, esp one who took notes and asked him about it when he contradicted himself meeting after meeting. Tee Hee, his loss. He still had to deal with me and my notes and questions - ALL of which were super polite so he couldn't be upset about them, could he? Is it possible they will do family therapy before they dismiss him? Is is possible for you to go and ask him things that will upset him? Wiz would have been home after a month or so except I went into a therapys session and triggered him by pushing ALL of his buttons. I wasn't mean or rude, but I didn't need to be. I just asked him questions and insisted on answers. He blew. If you can accomplish this, it would let them see what needs to be treated, rather than the Disneyland side of your son that never comes home. It isn't a fun thing to do, and I felt horrible, like a total wicked witch and awful mother. BUt it was what my son NEEDED, that time in the psychiatric hospital, and it got him the treatment he needed so badly. Whatever happens, I hope things go well and you can get a placement for him soon. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Hey everybody, I'm told my difficult child is safe and stable, home tomorrow?!?!?!
Top