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<blockquote data-quote="Kjs" data-source="post: 371490"><p>Hi</p><p>Everything you described...been there done that, as so many here have. difficult child probably started about age 2. He is now 15. Been a roller coaster ride. I've learned to not care what others think. If they had to walk in your shoes for just ONE day...it would be a different story.</p><p> </p><p>Set limits and expectations in advance. For me, it is a lesser fight when he knows what the consequences will be prior. Even if he has appointments, I need to tell him in advance to avoid a fight.</p><p> </p><p>School - get an IEP. Due to anger and frustration, the biggest help with the IEP is that difficult child has a "cool off pass" When he feels anger or frustration building he is able to use the pass and go to a supervised area (designated before hand). He goes and regroups then rejoins class. This helps him recognize the signs of anger and frustration, it helps him NOT to explode in the classroom and keeps the class from being disrupted. (not to mention keeps the suspensions down). What difficult child figured out was he uses this pass and spends an hour re-grouping. LOL...they put an end to that. He has 10 - 15 minutes to cool down, re-group and re-enter the class.</p><p> </p><p>We still have days where it feels like he is running the show because husband and I are just too tired to oppose him. Like walking on egg shells never knowing what may set him off. He needs to be approached in a particular way. If you approach him accusingly he will react very angry. Once teachers and others realize it is all in the approach it is a much smoother ride. That is what works for us. You will find what works for you.</p><p> </p><p>There are so many wonderful parents here. All have great advice. I know others will follow with excellent advice.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kjs, post: 371490"] Hi Everything you described...been there done that, as so many here have. difficult child probably started about age 2. He is now 15. Been a roller coaster ride. I've learned to not care what others think. If they had to walk in your shoes for just ONE day...it would be a different story. Set limits and expectations in advance. For me, it is a lesser fight when he knows what the consequences will be prior. Even if he has appointments, I need to tell him in advance to avoid a fight. School - get an IEP. Due to anger and frustration, the biggest help with the IEP is that difficult child has a "cool off pass" When he feels anger or frustration building he is able to use the pass and go to a supervised area (designated before hand). He goes and regroups then rejoins class. This helps him recognize the signs of anger and frustration, it helps him NOT to explode in the classroom and keeps the class from being disrupted. (not to mention keeps the suspensions down). What difficult child figured out was he uses this pass and spends an hour re-grouping. LOL...they put an end to that. He has 10 - 15 minutes to cool down, re-group and re-enter the class. We still have days where it feels like he is running the show because husband and I are just too tired to oppose him. Like walking on egg shells never knowing what may set him off. He needs to be approached in a particular way. If you approach him accusingly he will react very angry. Once teachers and others realize it is all in the approach it is a much smoother ride. That is what works for us. You will find what works for you. There are so many wonderful parents here. All have great advice. I know others will follow with excellent advice. [/QUOTE]
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