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Hi I am new and need help, my wife and I are at our wits end
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<blockquote data-quote="SearchingForRainbows" data-source="post: 512346" data-attributes="member: 3388"><p>Natural consequences are the only ones that made any sort of a difference in both difficult child 1 and difficult child 2's behaviors. There were absolutely no consequences we could give either one of them that made even the slightest difference in their negative behaviors. The only thing we accomplished using this technique, was having to deal with extreme "melt-downs," complete with throwing, breaking items, (sometimes physical violence) and verbalizing that could last for hours on end. This doesn't mean we never handed out consequences but we tried to pick our battles carefully. </p><p></p><p>When we tried to talk to difficult child 1, he intentionally tried to get us angry by attempting to turn our talks into arguments or by twisting the meaning of what we said. If difficult child 1 thought he was getting any sort of a rise out of us, he used to start smiling. He enjoyed it! He admitted much later in a therapy session that he liked to get us angry/sad when he was bored. He said this made things much more interesting. </p><p></p><p>One of the best tdocs difficult child 1 had, said that when difficult child 1 is at his "difficult child best," talking to him is useless. He isn't listening to what we're saying. As well as remaining unemotional, we should limit sentences to no more than 5 or 6 words. I agree with Terry that things might get worse at first, but given time and consistency, he'll figure out that you mean what you say. Once that "lightbulb" moment struck, difficult child 1 used to tell me that I "was no fun anymore."</p><p></p><p>Just my thoughts, what worked for us. SFR</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SearchingForRainbows, post: 512346, member: 3388"] Natural consequences are the only ones that made any sort of a difference in both difficult child 1 and difficult child 2's behaviors. There were absolutely no consequences we could give either one of them that made even the slightest difference in their negative behaviors. The only thing we accomplished using this technique, was having to deal with extreme "melt-downs," complete with throwing, breaking items, (sometimes physical violence) and verbalizing that could last for hours on end. This doesn't mean we never handed out consequences but we tried to pick our battles carefully. When we tried to talk to difficult child 1, he intentionally tried to get us angry by attempting to turn our talks into arguments or by twisting the meaning of what we said. If difficult child 1 thought he was getting any sort of a rise out of us, he used to start smiling. He enjoyed it! He admitted much later in a therapy session that he liked to get us angry/sad when he was bored. He said this made things much more interesting. One of the best tdocs difficult child 1 had, said that when difficult child 1 is at his "difficult child best," talking to him is useless. He isn't listening to what we're saying. As well as remaining unemotional, we should limit sentences to no more than 5 or 6 words. I agree with Terry that things might get worse at first, but given time and consistency, he'll figure out that you mean what you say. Once that "lightbulb" moment struck, difficult child 1 used to tell me that I "was no fun anymore." Just my thoughts, what worked for us. SFR [/QUOTE]
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Hi I am new and need help, my wife and I are at our wits end
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