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Hi I am new and need help, my wife and I are at our wits end
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<blockquote data-quote="Jim" data-source="post: 512722" data-attributes="member: 14074"><p>Last night he was acting up and couldn't get a rise out of his mother and I so he started on his sister, I have been trying to explain to her how to deal with his outbursts, he and his sister are thick as thieves as well, if anyone messes with her they will certainly feel his full wrath, but of course he can rattle her if he'd like.</p><p></p><p>Of late my wife and I have been trying the things we are learning and can tell as he looses control over us he gets angrier.</p><p></p><p>We understand fully your hate comment, my wife has said the exact same thing, of course you don't hate your child, but as they present this behavior it just seams so darn intentional, but you as we are, are simply the target and the closest emotionally to the child.</p><p></p><p>If I were to ask your child (or mine) why do you pick and prod at your mother, their inevitable answer is always going to be "because I can" as parents we will always have the highest tolerance to this kind of behavior from our kids, just think if you had a "friend" or even a spouse that treated you like that, it wouldn't take you long to jump ship on that relationship, our relationships with our kids is kinda like having a boyfriend or girlfriend that just won't leave you regardless of what you do, and the kids unfortunately know this.</p><p></p><p>Since we are doing a 180 degree turn on him, as far as just blowing off all the inconsequential nonsense he has said "how can you give up on me, you're my parents, I have friends way worse than me" I told him as lovingly as I could, I am not giving up, I am giving in, you have won the battle, I have no more fight left in me for you, I am taking off my gloves and leaving the ring, you win.</p><p></p><p>He does not like that, there goes the fuel for his fire, If we are no longer willing participants in this "battle of the wits" at least Mom and I might keep our sanity.</p><p></p><p></p><p>jim</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jim, post: 512722, member: 14074"] Last night he was acting up and couldn't get a rise out of his mother and I so he started on his sister, I have been trying to explain to her how to deal with his outbursts, he and his sister are thick as thieves as well, if anyone messes with her they will certainly feel his full wrath, but of course he can rattle her if he'd like. Of late my wife and I have been trying the things we are learning and can tell as he looses control over us he gets angrier. We understand fully your hate comment, my wife has said the exact same thing, of course you don't hate your child, but as they present this behavior it just seams so darn intentional, but you as we are, are simply the target and the closest emotionally to the child. If I were to ask your child (or mine) why do you pick and prod at your mother, their inevitable answer is always going to be "because I can" as parents we will always have the highest tolerance to this kind of behavior from our kids, just think if you had a "friend" or even a spouse that treated you like that, it wouldn't take you long to jump ship on that relationship, our relationships with our kids is kinda like having a boyfriend or girlfriend that just won't leave you regardless of what you do, and the kids unfortunately know this. Since we are doing a 180 degree turn on him, as far as just blowing off all the inconsequential nonsense he has said "how can you give up on me, you're my parents, I have friends way worse than me" I told him as lovingly as I could, I am not giving up, I am giving in, you have won the battle, I have no more fight left in me for you, I am taking off my gloves and leaving the ring, you win. He does not like that, there goes the fuel for his fire, If we are no longer willing participants in this "battle of the wits" at least Mom and I might keep our sanity. jim [/QUOTE]
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Hi I am new and need help, my wife and I are at our wits end
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