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General Parenting
hi - New Here, son just put in Residential Treatment Center (RTC), will things ever get better?
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 675564" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>This is the kind of choice I made with my son.</p><p></p><p>This is where I drew my line in the sand. I could not listen to him go on and on. I told him believe what you want, but I do not want to hear it.</p><p></p><p>I felt that by listening to him I was as if supporting it. Supporting something I felt was hurtful to him and potentially to others. There can be victims to conspiracy theories. I am of an ethnic group that has suffered for centuries as victims of conspiracy theories. I told my son I would not listen. It took him a few times to realize and to accept that he could not make me listen. That I would not speak to him. </p><p></p><p>But now? He has not for a few weeks chosen to speak of such things to me.</p><p></p><p>I realize that he does have control. It gives me hope. I see now (which I had thought, but did not know for sure) that insisting on talking of such things was a form of dominance over me. </p><p></p><p>I insisted to him that when we speak it must be of a topic that pertains to us both, and respects us both. </p><p> </p><p>I also complained about his ceaseless self-pity and how I did not want to hear it anymore. I would speak about solutions but not endless moaning. That has stopped too. He alludes to his preoccupations, and yesterday, with a sense of humor. He has gotten some distance which is a precursor to changing. </p><p></p><p>So, I am seeing our conversations as positive. Because I insist upon it. </p><p></p><p>Do not feel guilty about insisting upon control and distance from your child. It is necessary for you.<em> And for him. Especially, him.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p>I am glad you feel better. Keep posting. It helps. It really, really does.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 675564, member: 18958"] This is the kind of choice I made with my son. This is where I drew my line in the sand. I could not listen to him go on and on. I told him believe what you want, but I do not want to hear it. I felt that by listening to him I was as if supporting it. Supporting something I felt was hurtful to him and potentially to others. There can be victims to conspiracy theories. I am of an ethnic group that has suffered for centuries as victims of conspiracy theories. I told my son I would not listen. It took him a few times to realize and to accept that he could not make me listen. That I would not speak to him. But now? He has not for a few weeks chosen to speak of such things to me. I realize that he does have control. It gives me hope. I see now (which I had thought, but did not know for sure) that insisting on talking of such things was a form of dominance over me. I insisted to him that when we speak it must be of a topic that pertains to us both, and respects us both. I also complained about his ceaseless self-pity and how I did not want to hear it anymore. I would speak about solutions but not endless moaning. That has stopped too. He alludes to his preoccupations, and yesterday, with a sense of humor. He has gotten some distance which is a precursor to changing. So, I am seeing our conversations as positive. Because I insist upon it. Do not feel guilty about insisting upon control and distance from your child. It is necessary for you.[I] And for him. Especially, him. [/I] I am glad you feel better. Keep posting. It helps. It really, really does. COPA [/QUOTE]
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hi - New Here, son just put in Residential Treatment Center (RTC), will things ever get better?
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