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General Parenting
hi - New Here, son just put in Residential Treatment Center (RTC), will things ever get better?
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<blockquote data-quote="JMom" data-source="post: 675643" data-attributes="member: 19892"><p>I had a couple of thoughts...when my Difficult Child was in rehab he told me it was K2, a synthetic Marijuana but you never know what is in it. I'm a police officer and we keep making new legislation to make it illegal, then the drug makers change the compound. That makes a drug test negative. It's very dangerous and often leads to meth because it's less expensive. I only say this not to scare you, but to say when my Difficult Child was in rehab he started out treating me the way you are being treated. I felt responsible. </p><p></p><p>Then I had enough. The next time he called I told him I was resigning as his scapegoat and he would need to hire a new one :0). </p><p></p><p>The best thing I learned about my son being in rehab was if you try to figure it out for him, to stay ahead of it he will never learn the skills to handle his own addiction and problems. It's like you giving him a bottle and never teaching him to drink from a cup. He's going to look silly at 21 still using a bottle. Lol. That's what the counselors said to me.</p><p></p><p>Their brains have interrupted maturity and have to start over when they are clean. Each rehab stint helps because they have 30 days of sobriety to kick start rational thinking and growth. </p><p></p><p>My 20 yo son did 3 tours in rehab and is now homeless. But I get to hug him, he's sober so his eyes look like him not a person I don't know. When I found out he was homeless, I was devestated. I saw him a few days later . and he had camp rules. No stealing, no lying and clean up after yourself. </p><p></p><p>I tried 18 years to teach him that!! So my point is, don't feel pressure to figure it out for him, the next step, ect... let him do the work, the planning, the arrangements for after rehab. It will give him the tools to one day take care of himself. My 2 cents, not a professional by any means. Just care about you.</p><p></p><p>I have a bad habit of having catastrophic thoughts of what will happen. What has happened us he just learned not to lie, steal and clean up after himself from homeless people!!</p><p></p><p> Take care of YOU! YOU deserve it. You're a wonderful, caring parent!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JMom, post: 675643, member: 19892"] I had a couple of thoughts...when my Difficult Child was in rehab he told me it was K2, a synthetic Marijuana but you never know what is in it. I'm a police officer and we keep making new legislation to make it illegal, then the drug makers change the compound. That makes a drug test negative. It's very dangerous and often leads to meth because it's less expensive. I only say this not to scare you, but to say when my Difficult Child was in rehab he started out treating me the way you are being treated. I felt responsible. Then I had enough. The next time he called I told him I was resigning as his scapegoat and he would need to hire a new one :0). The best thing I learned about my son being in rehab was if you try to figure it out for him, to stay ahead of it he will never learn the skills to handle his own addiction and problems. It's like you giving him a bottle and never teaching him to drink from a cup. He's going to look silly at 21 still using a bottle. Lol. That's what the counselors said to me. Their brains have interrupted maturity and have to start over when they are clean. Each rehab stint helps because they have 30 days of sobriety to kick start rational thinking and growth. My 20 yo son did 3 tours in rehab and is now homeless. But I get to hug him, he's sober so his eyes look like him not a person I don't know. When I found out he was homeless, I was devestated. I saw him a few days later . and he had camp rules. No stealing, no lying and clean up after yourself. I tried 18 years to teach him that!! So my point is, don't feel pressure to figure it out for him, the next step, ect... let him do the work, the planning, the arrangements for after rehab. It will give him the tools to one day take care of himself. My 2 cents, not a professional by any means. Just care about you. I have a bad habit of having catastrophic thoughts of what will happen. What has happened us he just learned not to lie, steal and clean up after himself from homeless people!! Take care of YOU! YOU deserve it. You're a wonderful, caring parent! [/QUOTE]
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hi - New Here, son just put in Residential Treatment Center (RTC), will things ever get better?
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