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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 748015" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>My experience with my only son, now 30, is comparable to your YS. Except different. So. Our situation does not relate.</p><p></p><p>Except for this: they will have to work this through themselves, I don't see anyway around this. We can make suggestions, we can assist and support. But we can only lead the horse to water. Their Dad is as much a factor in their lives as are you. He will do what he will do. The same for the kids.</p><p></p><p>There are people who have depressive tendencies their whole lives. They find a way to deal. Either through psychological help, or art or excercise or spirituality or meditation or somatic therapies or whatever. The thing is we find our own way.</p><p></p><p>Will your ex veto college for YS? That would be a real pity, if this is the case.</p><p></p><p>As far as a gap year, or not, I will throw something out. Hopefully he will be able to go to college and have no Gap. If father blocks this, there are exciting things he can do that would fill his time and be meaningful. Great Britain for example, has programs called "foundation courses." That are just that. They do not involve formal matriculation but establish a skill level in a chosen field. You can even do this online. I looked into Art foundational classes, for example. Language courses are another option. Even overseas if this is an option. And Community College, locally, or online classes.</p><p></p><p>But, the immediate concern is that son is depressed. There is time for son to get stable. Perhaps knowing that he has exciting options, and the freedom of choice to define himself, might touch something in him, his motivation and his joy.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 748015, member: 18958"] My experience with my only son, now 30, is comparable to your YS. Except different. So. Our situation does not relate. Except for this: they will have to work this through themselves, I don't see anyway around this. We can make suggestions, we can assist and support. But we can only lead the horse to water. Their Dad is as much a factor in their lives as are you. He will do what he will do. The same for the kids. There are people who have depressive tendencies their whole lives. They find a way to deal. Either through psychological help, or art or excercise or spirituality or meditation or somatic therapies or whatever. The thing is we find our own way. Will your ex veto college for YS? That would be a real pity, if this is the case. As far as a gap year, or not, I will throw something out. Hopefully he will be able to go to college and have no Gap. If father blocks this, there are exciting things he can do that would fill his time and be meaningful. Great Britain for example, has programs called "foundation courses." That are just that. They do not involve formal matriculation but establish a skill level in a chosen field. You can even do this online. I looked into Art foundational classes, for example. Language courses are another option. Even overseas if this is an option. And Community College, locally, or online classes. But, the immediate concern is that son is depressed. There is time for son to get stable. Perhaps knowing that he has exciting options, and the freedom of choice to define himself, might touch something in him, his motivation and his joy. [/QUOTE]
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