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<blockquote data-quote="BloodiedButUnbowed" data-source="post: 748030" data-attributes="member: 13303"><p>Hello EOTR,</p><p></p><p>Our families have some similarities. I am the stepparent to two young men, one 18 and the other 17, and I recognize them in your children's stories.</p><p></p><p>While we do have *some* legal recourse when our children are under 18, once they cross this milestone age, they are considered adults. This presents us with a very difficult choice if they are struggling as both your sons, and mine, are doing. And it is a burden made even heavier when our co-parents are not on the same page. My wife and her ex-husband, her sons' father, are a textbook example and it sounds like your ex is also not on board with you. I am sorry. This issue has hurt my stepsons perhaps more than any other, as their father has stonewalled W's and my efforts to get these boys help.</p><p></p><p>My own YS made a suicide attempt two years ago that came within five minutes of completing. Since then he has gotten more help than his older brother. He is at least, still in school, for now.</p><p></p><p>We can do nothing. Unlike you, we are not in touch with either of our sons at the moment, as they refuse all contact with us. But we are alike in the sense that we are faced with having to adjust our own behavior and expectations toward, and of, these adult children.</p><p></p><p>My oldest stepson is not housed in his own place but he does live with his father, is jobless, and not attending school, and smokes a great deal of marijuana. YS suffers from bipolar depression and a debilitating physical injury he sustained as a result of his suicide attempt, which causes him chronic pain. He is slated to enter his senior year of HS in the fall. We will see if he makes it that far or drops out. He appears to be on a path to the latter. Either way, W and I are utterly powerless to do anything other than watch and if an opportunity to intervene ever arises, to take advantage in the best way we know how.</p><p></p><p>Blessings to you, I know how your heart must hurt.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BloodiedButUnbowed, post: 748030, member: 13303"] Hello EOTR, Our families have some similarities. I am the stepparent to two young men, one 18 and the other 17, and I recognize them in your children's stories. While we do have *some* legal recourse when our children are under 18, once they cross this milestone age, they are considered adults. This presents us with a very difficult choice if they are struggling as both your sons, and mine, are doing. And it is a burden made even heavier when our co-parents are not on the same page. My wife and her ex-husband, her sons' father, are a textbook example and it sounds like your ex is also not on board with you. I am sorry. This issue has hurt my stepsons perhaps more than any other, as their father has stonewalled W's and my efforts to get these boys help. My own YS made a suicide attempt two years ago that came within five minutes of completing. Since then he has gotten more help than his older brother. He is at least, still in school, for now. We can do nothing. Unlike you, we are not in touch with either of our sons at the moment, as they refuse all contact with us. But we are alike in the sense that we are faced with having to adjust our own behavior and expectations toward, and of, these adult children. My oldest stepson is not housed in his own place but he does live with his father, is jobless, and not attending school, and smokes a great deal of marijuana. YS suffers from bipolar depression and a debilitating physical injury he sustained as a result of his suicide attempt, which causes him chronic pain. He is slated to enter his senior year of HS in the fall. We will see if he makes it that far or drops out. He appears to be on a path to the latter. Either way, W and I are utterly powerless to do anything other than watch and if an opportunity to intervene ever arises, to take advantage in the best way we know how. Blessings to you, I know how your heart must hurt. [/QUOTE]
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