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<blockquote data-quote="busywend" data-source="post: 523208" data-attributes="member: 391"><p>Welcome, glad you found us! </p><p></p><p>First of all, I would take the doors right off the bedrooms. Gives them a huge relief of having to wonder if someone is going to close them while they are sleeping. </p><p></p><p>Second, you need to realize you can not love or mother this away. They are 2 deeply hurt children who will need lots of help throughout the next 20 to 25 years (likely more). They need to be in therapy. THEIR MOTHER locked them in a room. And they probably still love her. And she is out of their lives suddenly. These kids need big time help to process all this and it will take years. </p><p></p><p>You REALLY need to evaluate you & your son's new situation. Is it best for him? Hard to say. Could he still grow up to be a lovely young man? Of course. But, this will change the course of his life for sure. Living this life is tough. He will experience things you will wish he did not. One can not predict what it will do to/for him. He may grow to be the next best psychiatrist around from his upbringing with troubled children. He may decide never to have children for fear they will be like his step brothers. He may do a myriad of things due to being in this environment. Or, he could take it all in stride and it may not impact him all that much. I doubt that last sentence. I think nobody on this site could claim they are the same person they were before having a difficult child. </p><p></p><p>It is OK for you to really think about what you need to do. But, first realize that YOU can NOT fix these boys. So, make sure that <strong>fact </strong>is part of your equation.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="busywend, post: 523208, member: 391"] Welcome, glad you found us! First of all, I would take the doors right off the bedrooms. Gives them a huge relief of having to wonder if someone is going to close them while they are sleeping. Second, you need to realize you can not love or mother this away. They are 2 deeply hurt children who will need lots of help throughout the next 20 to 25 years (likely more). They need to be in therapy. THEIR MOTHER locked them in a room. And they probably still love her. And she is out of their lives suddenly. These kids need big time help to process all this and it will take years. You REALLY need to evaluate you & your son's new situation. Is it best for him? Hard to say. Could he still grow up to be a lovely young man? Of course. But, this will change the course of his life for sure. Living this life is tough. He will experience things you will wish he did not. One can not predict what it will do to/for him. He may grow to be the next best psychiatrist around from his upbringing with troubled children. He may decide never to have children for fear they will be like his step brothers. He may do a myriad of things due to being in this environment. Or, he could take it all in stride and it may not impact him all that much. I doubt that last sentence. I think nobody on this site could claim they are the same person they were before having a difficult child. It is OK for you to really think about what you need to do. But, first realize that YOU can NOT fix these boys. So, make sure that [B]fact [/B]is part of your equation. [/QUOTE]
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