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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 523960" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>Hi, and welcome. Sorry I'm so late to this but I wouldn't have been much help anyway. The replies you've gotten are great, and of course you get all kinds of povs here. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> Your stepsons are very, very damaged, way beyond sleep deprivation, in my humble opinion. Yes, sleep makes a huge difference. But judges don't take away kids from moms because their kids don't sleep well. Your husband seriously needs a wakeup call. He wants to live in la-la land with-his young beautiful, new wife. Not going to happen.</p><p>Please protect your son. At all times. Don't turn your back for a moment. Also, do whatever you can to continue with-your degree. You are so close to finishing you've just got to do it. </p><p>Arrange for you and your husband to take turns with-the boys so you can have some time alone. Go to the bookstore or library or coffeeshop and study or just stare at the ceiling a cpl times a wk.</p><p>Get a marriage therapist, family therapist and personal therapist. Figure out a way to pay for it (I think that has already been covered here).</p><p></p><p>Also, be sure that your stepsons (one or both?) who have been diagnosed with-sensory integration disorder are wearing soft, comfortable clothing with no drawstrings or potentially dangerous objects. Also, if you can stand it for about 10 min, just to experiment with-your stepson who hits and spits, see if he likes being hugged very, very tightly. Then see what his reaction is if you gently scratch his back up and down in a relaxing way. Place a warm compress on his arm, and then an ice pack and ask him the difference. You don't have to wait for expensive therapy to do this all on your own.</p><p> When he is feeling wild and anxious, you can make a plan with-him to run laps, squeeze one another really hard (do not allow him to do this with-anyone else, especially an animal and don't even bring up the subject) or whatever works for him. </p><p>Do you have a male friend who is big and strong? He can help you with-this. I used to fret because it would take so much energy for me to work with-my son and I felt defeated. One day, a big friend came in and lifted difficult child right off of his feet like it was no big deal, and to my amazement, difficult child said, "That was fun!"</p><p>It was just another example of how different his world was from mine.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 523960, member: 3419"] Hi, and welcome. Sorry I'm so late to this but I wouldn't have been much help anyway. The replies you've gotten are great, and of course you get all kinds of povs here. :) Your stepsons are very, very damaged, way beyond sleep deprivation, in my humble opinion. Yes, sleep makes a huge difference. But judges don't take away kids from moms because their kids don't sleep well. Your husband seriously needs a wakeup call. He wants to live in la-la land with-his young beautiful, new wife. Not going to happen. Please protect your son. At all times. Don't turn your back for a moment. Also, do whatever you can to continue with-your degree. You are so close to finishing you've just got to do it. Arrange for you and your husband to take turns with-the boys so you can have some time alone. Go to the bookstore or library or coffeeshop and study or just stare at the ceiling a cpl times a wk. Get a marriage therapist, family therapist and personal therapist. Figure out a way to pay for it (I think that has already been covered here). Also, be sure that your stepsons (one or both?) who have been diagnosed with-sensory integration disorder are wearing soft, comfortable clothing with no drawstrings or potentially dangerous objects. Also, if you can stand it for about 10 min, just to experiment with-your stepson who hits and spits, see if he likes being hugged very, very tightly. Then see what his reaction is if you gently scratch his back up and down in a relaxing way. Place a warm compress on his arm, and then an ice pack and ask him the difference. You don't have to wait for expensive therapy to do this all on your own. When he is feeling wild and anxious, you can make a plan with-him to run laps, squeeze one another really hard (do not allow him to do this with-anyone else, especially an animal and don't even bring up the subject) or whatever works for him. Do you have a male friend who is big and strong? He can help you with-this. I used to fret because it would take so much energy for me to work with-my son and I felt defeated. One day, a big friend came in and lifted difficult child right off of his feet like it was no big deal, and to my amazement, difficult child said, "That was fun!" It was just another example of how different his world was from mine. [/QUOTE]
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