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General Parenting
Hi. New. Parent of 5-year old who most likely has ODD
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<blockquote data-quote="artmama" data-source="post: 449166" data-attributes="member: 12488"><p>We have an appointment on the 17th. But I imagine they will tell me what I already know. The principal in question just mentioned ODD, but I had heard of it before, and it describes my son's behavior almost perfectly. Because it's happening at school, and he has had 2 principal's office time-outs in 3 weeks, it's serious enough that I can't ignore it. He's going to start being stigmatized by teachers and peers if we can't get his temper under control. He is WONDERFUL when he is not angry. Angry, he's almost a completely different kid.</p><p></p><p> He was a VERY bad sleeper, very active in the womb, couldn't breastfeed, and had some colicky moments. Otherwise he was a perfect baby. Very lively, happy, and personable. He was not afraid of strangers. He had some problems with hitting other kids, but when he was a toddler I don't think it was mean spirited. He seemed to view it as a game, even if someone did it to him he'd just laugh.</p><p></p><p> He's exceptionally smart. I don't know if it's creepy smart. He only walked for a week, and then ran everywhere. His fine-motor and large-motor skills developed very early. He could read all letters in the alphabet by 2. Write his name by 3. Count to 100 by 3 1/2. Knew all his colours and shapes early. At nearly 6, he can read almost any phonetically spelled word, and has started adding into the double digits. </p><p></p><p> His verbal skills were about 6 months behind, although he was facially expressive and responsive to others. He caught up suddenly just as we were going to get him tested. His tongue is attached on the underside pretty far down. It will have to be snipped. Other than that, he's clearly understood when he talks. He talks excitedly and animatedly about things he's interested in, but gives one word answers to questions he doesn't care about. We are trying to teach him to talk about his feelings instead of acting out, but so far we've been unsuccessful.</p><p></p><p> Not so much. One or two items of clothing, but otherwise not really.</p><p></p><p> Nope. He's a fanatically picky eater, but I hear this is pretty common. It doesn't seem to be a taste thing so much as a familiarity thing. He doesn't care so much about loud noises.</p><p></p><p> I'm not sure what that is, so I'm going to guess no. We were in Parents As Teachers.</p><p></p><p>His rages, when they happen at home, involve a lot of shrieking, hitting of furniture, throwing of toys, banging on his door, and some lashing out physically. He kicked a hole in his wall this year. We had to replace the drywall next to his bed. He hasn't done it since, I think it may have scared him more than me. He has slapped his teacher before, and tried to destroy the furniture in the principal's office. Once he gets going, there is very little you can do to stop it. I have had to physically restrain him before by holding his limbs until the worst of the rage passes, but he's almost too strong for me to do it now, and they aren't subsiding.</p><p></p><p>I would say he throws about one really bad rager a month. He has trouble transitioning, so we use the count-down method, but sometimes that doesn't work if he's really into what he's doing. He has a few smaller to larger tantrums a day. I know some oppositional behavior is normal in all children, but it's the level of his rages that worries me, as well as the fact that it's not just happening with us. I don't want him labelled the bad or weird kid, like I was, and I don't want his behavior escalating or worsening. I don't know what's causing it. It seems like he's been this way since he was one and a half. Like a lightswitch was thrown and his anger came into the picture.</p><p></p><p>My husband and I have had some big fights, but we love each other and we aren't physically abusive to each other or to him. I have spanked him as a last resort, which I NEVER thought I'd do, and would prefer not to ever have to do again. But time outs don't always work. Taking away privileges doesn't work, because he doesn't connect cause and effect. Right now the threat of a spanking is about the only thing that works, and I don't want to do that even as a threat. But I'm at the end of my rope. I've read every book, looked up every website, and tried every piece of advice that didn't sound like utter BS. He doesn't have a food allergy, we don't give him caffiene, we limit sugar, he doesn't watch violent TV or video games. (the games we have for him are Wii Lego Games, and he has played PBS Kids games on the computer before. And I limit those as well.) He likes to build things with Legos, likes to draw and paint, has fun outside, and is very personable with other kids. Until he gets mad. Then it's utterly different, immediately. He has thrown tantrums for two hours before. </p><p></p><p>I hope the therapist we have an appointment with can help us. I want this kid to have a bright happy future. He deserves it. He's an awesome kid. He's so artistic and bright, caring and brave. I want the best for him.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="artmama, post: 449166, member: 12488"] We have an appointment on the 17th. But I imagine they will tell me what I already know. The principal in question just mentioned ODD, but I had heard of it before, and it describes my son's behavior almost perfectly. Because it's happening at school, and he has had 2 principal's office time-outs in 3 weeks, it's serious enough that I can't ignore it. He's going to start being stigmatized by teachers and peers if we can't get his temper under control. He is WONDERFUL when he is not angry. Angry, he's almost a completely different kid. He was a VERY bad sleeper, very active in the womb, couldn't breastfeed, and had some colicky moments. Otherwise he was a perfect baby. Very lively, happy, and personable. He was not afraid of strangers. He had some problems with hitting other kids, but when he was a toddler I don't think it was mean spirited. He seemed to view it as a game, even if someone did it to him he'd just laugh. He's exceptionally smart. I don't know if it's creepy smart. He only walked for a week, and then ran everywhere. His fine-motor and large-motor skills developed very early. He could read all letters in the alphabet by 2. Write his name by 3. Count to 100 by 3 1/2. Knew all his colours and shapes early. At nearly 6, he can read almost any phonetically spelled word, and has started adding into the double digits. His verbal skills were about 6 months behind, although he was facially expressive and responsive to others. He caught up suddenly just as we were going to get him tested. His tongue is attached on the underside pretty far down. It will have to be snipped. Other than that, he's clearly understood when he talks. He talks excitedly and animatedly about things he's interested in, but gives one word answers to questions he doesn't care about. We are trying to teach him to talk about his feelings instead of acting out, but so far we've been unsuccessful. Not so much. One or two items of clothing, but otherwise not really. Nope. He's a fanatically picky eater, but I hear this is pretty common. It doesn't seem to be a taste thing so much as a familiarity thing. He doesn't care so much about loud noises. I'm not sure what that is, so I'm going to guess no. We were in Parents As Teachers. His rages, when they happen at home, involve a lot of shrieking, hitting of furniture, throwing of toys, banging on his door, and some lashing out physically. He kicked a hole in his wall this year. We had to replace the drywall next to his bed. He hasn't done it since, I think it may have scared him more than me. He has slapped his teacher before, and tried to destroy the furniture in the principal's office. Once he gets going, there is very little you can do to stop it. I have had to physically restrain him before by holding his limbs until the worst of the rage passes, but he's almost too strong for me to do it now, and they aren't subsiding. I would say he throws about one really bad rager a month. He has trouble transitioning, so we use the count-down method, but sometimes that doesn't work if he's really into what he's doing. He has a few smaller to larger tantrums a day. I know some oppositional behavior is normal in all children, but it's the level of his rages that worries me, as well as the fact that it's not just happening with us. I don't want him labelled the bad or weird kid, like I was, and I don't want his behavior escalating or worsening. I don't know what's causing it. It seems like he's been this way since he was one and a half. Like a lightswitch was thrown and his anger came into the picture. My husband and I have had some big fights, but we love each other and we aren't physically abusive to each other or to him. I have spanked him as a last resort, which I NEVER thought I'd do, and would prefer not to ever have to do again. But time outs don't always work. Taking away privileges doesn't work, because he doesn't connect cause and effect. Right now the threat of a spanking is about the only thing that works, and I don't want to do that even as a threat. But I'm at the end of my rope. I've read every book, looked up every website, and tried every piece of advice that didn't sound like utter BS. He doesn't have a food allergy, we don't give him caffiene, we limit sugar, he doesn't watch violent TV or video games. (the games we have for him are Wii Lego Games, and he has played PBS Kids games on the computer before. And I limit those as well.) He likes to build things with Legos, likes to draw and paint, has fun outside, and is very personable with other kids. Until he gets mad. Then it's utterly different, immediately. He has thrown tantrums for two hours before. I hope the therapist we have an appointment with can help us. I want this kid to have a bright happy future. He deserves it. He's an awesome kid. He's so artistic and bright, caring and brave. I want the best for him. [/QUOTE]
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Hi. New. Parent of 5-year old who most likely has ODD
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