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General Parenting
Hi Newbie here. Venting hoping for advice/commiseration
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 581818" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi, Trix. Count me in as one who would stop the spanking. Even though it seems like she is doing all these things on purpose just to bug you, she isn't. Obviously something is wired differently in her brain and she can't help her anger and acting out. Hitting her will just amp it up. </p><p></p><p>Is this your biological child, you and hub? Did she have a chaotic very early life (infancy, toddlerhood?). Were her milestones on time? How does she relate to her same age peers? </p><p></p><p>On the parenting side, first of all, I'd take her to a neuropsychologist. Some professionals just don't test as well or as thoroughly as other ones do and I'm afraid that if you go to the wrong one YOU may be blamed for this and it's not your fault. Secondly, since she is so difficult, it may be necessary, until she can get under some control, for you to make some concessions and changes to your lifestyle. When my son was very young and very active and would run off or disappear one of us would stay home with him if we were going places he could get lost or run off in or just disrupt our enjoyment. I didn't go to the fireworks for three years because he was terrified of the loud noise, and that was ok. It wasn't his fault that he was afraid. Your little one's sucking on things reminds me of sensory disorders, which usually co-exist with other childhood disorders. My son used to suck his shirt until it was soaking wet halfway down. </p><p></p><p>Back to parenting, I would not force your child to go to places that set her off, even though it is an inconvenience to you not to go. It is probably hard for her to be in a crowd or a group and it is useless to pretend that she is just like everyone else's child because she's not and that makes us have to moderate our lives. Hopefully she will see a good professional who can help you with her. I recommend, while you wait for the evaluation, reading "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. And please try to talk your husband into not spanking her. One day she may just slap him back and nothing will be gained.j</p><p></p><p>Gentle hugs and stay in touch!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 581818, member: 1550"] Hi, Trix. Count me in as one who would stop the spanking. Even though it seems like she is doing all these things on purpose just to bug you, she isn't. Obviously something is wired differently in her brain and she can't help her anger and acting out. Hitting her will just amp it up. Is this your biological child, you and hub? Did she have a chaotic very early life (infancy, toddlerhood?). Were her milestones on time? How does she relate to her same age peers? On the parenting side, first of all, I'd take her to a neuropsychologist. Some professionals just don't test as well or as thoroughly as other ones do and I'm afraid that if you go to the wrong one YOU may be blamed for this and it's not your fault. Secondly, since she is so difficult, it may be necessary, until she can get under some control, for you to make some concessions and changes to your lifestyle. When my son was very young and very active and would run off or disappear one of us would stay home with him if we were going places he could get lost or run off in or just disrupt our enjoyment. I didn't go to the fireworks for three years because he was terrified of the loud noise, and that was ok. It wasn't his fault that he was afraid. Your little one's sucking on things reminds me of sensory disorders, which usually co-exist with other childhood disorders. My son used to suck his shirt until it was soaking wet halfway down. Back to parenting, I would not force your child to go to places that set her off, even though it is an inconvenience to you not to go. It is probably hard for her to be in a crowd or a group and it is useless to pretend that she is just like everyone else's child because she's not and that makes us have to moderate our lives. Hopefully she will see a good professional who can help you with her. I recommend, while you wait for the evaluation, reading "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. And please try to talk your husband into not spanking her. One day she may just slap him back and nothing will be gained.j Gentle hugs and stay in touch! [/QUOTE]
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Hi Newbie here. Venting hoping for advice/commiseration
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