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High drama, but no drug use. Still hard...
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 127111" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Well, my daughter has been calling me lately sobbing about her boyfriend. He's a nice young man, nothing super-special, but at least he's a homebody, has a job, and doesn't do drugs or drink much. Lately he has told my daughter that he wants to be free. However, he still wants them to hang around and be great friends. Daughter is distraught as she loves him very much. Now I wouldn't really care--breakups happen all the time and young people get over it--however, daughter is highly emotional and very upset. I had to talk to her for two hours yesterday to calm her down and to encourage her to change her life a little bit (she said the normal difficult child "I hate my life.") I told her she couldn't control boyfriend, but she could control herself, and that maybe one little thing at a time would make her feel better about herself, like going to dinner with other friends, male and female, instead of hanging with this guy all the time. I was so exhausted when I got off the phone. Talking her down is not easy, but she was listening.</p><p>The good part about the phone call is I'm sure she hasn't started using drugs again. She mentioned not wanting to go to parties because of the drugs and drinking and "I'm just not that person anymore." And she admitted she has trouble meeting people sober because she's shy. She is lonely. I asked her to come stay with us in Wisconsin, but she feels obligated to work at the candy store she manages until at least after Easter, then we'll see. </p><p>It was hard to watch her destroy herself with drugs. It's almost just as hard to see how difficult it is for her to make friends and find that elusive self-esteem without drugs. And I'm furious at her boyfriend for "playing" her. Yes, she's old enough to tell him she doesn't want to see him again, but she DOES. I wish he'd cut her off completely and let her heal instead of saying, "I'm not sure if we're in a relationship or if we're just friends." That makes my daughter nuts. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/felttip/greedy.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":greedy:" title="greedy :greedy:" data-shortname=":greedy:" /> These kids don't necessarily stop struggling just because they quit drugs. Daughter is so shy it's hard for her to reach out for counseling or group, but I've been talking to her about it a lot while she listens. </p><p>I guess this is just a vent. It was so hard to listen to my daughter, who has tried so hard to be a good, responsible person, still struggling with the very issues that got her starting drugs in the first place. My mommy heart hurts for her. At least she'll talk to me!!! Thanks for being here, friends.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 127111, member: 1550"] Well, my daughter has been calling me lately sobbing about her boyfriend. He's a nice young man, nothing super-special, but at least he's a homebody, has a job, and doesn't do drugs or drink much. Lately he has told my daughter that he wants to be free. However, he still wants them to hang around and be great friends. Daughter is distraught as she loves him very much. Now I wouldn't really care--breakups happen all the time and young people get over it--however, daughter is highly emotional and very upset. I had to talk to her for two hours yesterday to calm her down and to encourage her to change her life a little bit (she said the normal difficult child "I hate my life.") I told her she couldn't control boyfriend, but she could control herself, and that maybe one little thing at a time would make her feel better about herself, like going to dinner with other friends, male and female, instead of hanging with this guy all the time. I was so exhausted when I got off the phone. Talking her down is not easy, but she was listening. The good part about the phone call is I'm sure she hasn't started using drugs again. She mentioned not wanting to go to parties because of the drugs and drinking and "I'm just not that person anymore." And she admitted she has trouble meeting people sober because she's shy. She is lonely. I asked her to come stay with us in Wisconsin, but she feels obligated to work at the candy store she manages until at least after Easter, then we'll see. It was hard to watch her destroy herself with drugs. It's almost just as hard to see how difficult it is for her to make friends and find that elusive self-esteem without drugs. And I'm furious at her boyfriend for "playing" her. Yes, she's old enough to tell him she doesn't want to see him again, but she DOES. I wish he'd cut her off completely and let her heal instead of saying, "I'm not sure if we're in a relationship or if we're just friends." That makes my daughter nuts. :greedy: These kids don't necessarily stop struggling just because they quit drugs. Daughter is so shy it's hard for her to reach out for counseling or group, but I've been talking to her about it a lot while she listens. I guess this is just a vent. It was so hard to listen to my daughter, who has tried so hard to be a good, responsible person, still struggling with the very issues that got her starting drugs in the first place. My mommy heart hurts for her. At least she'll talk to me!!! Thanks for being here, friends. [/QUOTE]
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High drama, but no drug use. Still hard...
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